Brandon vs. The Clone Saga // No. 001 - Attacked With His Bear Hands
A little over a year ago, I set myself the task of running through each and every issue of The Clone Saga - or, you know, at least the ones Marvel saw fit to collect in their recent complete collections. The results have been a bit harrowing, and went in starts and fits. While it was an era that introduced me to superhero comics and my first Spider-Man (Ben Reilly), a lot of the stories are rough. So I figured… hey, why not share my misery with others! And thus, Brandon vs. The Clone Saga was born.
Hitting as the parts are ready (or weekly, whichever comes first) the series will explore the whole of The Clone Saga, from the Original run in the 70s, to the epic mess that was the Spider-Man comics of the 90s, straight through to Peter Parker: Spider-Man #75, featuring the Death of Ben Reilly. I won’t lie. This won’t be easy, and it might end with me going insane partway through the run. I might just disappear one day. James will try to tell you that I went insane after experiencing a random issue of Web of Spider-Man where I would come face to face with the hopelessness of existence, but don’t trust him. Check his crawl space. Maybe his girlfriend’s place. Maybe his parent’s house? I might still be alive somewhere. Or hey, this experiment might truly take me. Who knows.
We kick things off back in ’74 with the start of a story that takes Pete clean through to issue #150, and beyond…
Amazing Spider-Man #139 - The Day of the Grizzly
Gerry Conway - Author // Ross Andru - Artist // Frank Giacoia and David Hunt - Embellishers
Artie Simek - Letterer // Jan Brunner - Colourist // Roy Thomas - Editor
The story opens as most Marvel Comics of the era did, with a nice big splash page that sets the scene for the issue. It’s a cool August day, and Pete’s swinging through the city as Spider-Man.
A turn of the page brings us to a wall of Pete dropping an external monologue, narrating recent events out loud as he passes people by. For those who are just dropping into the story (like we are), we discover that Pete is in need of a place to stay, and has been squatting at Flash Thompson’s place. We also get this fantastic panel…
…which not only has two swag ass motherfuckers sharing a pack of cigarettes at the bottom, but sets up one of the most Spider-Man lines I’ve ever encountered. After supposing he shouldn’t complain about being homeless, Pete takes himself to task for not feeling so bad about the whole “dead girlfriend” thing, and starts to wish something terrible would happen to him so he can feel properly punished for his role in Gwen’s death. Soon after, he labels himself “Mr. Masochism 1974” and states: “If things go badly, I’m unhappy — and if things go well, I’m unhappy — so either way, I just can’t win.” This is decades of Spider-Man distilled and served in a single line. It’s a thing of beauty. This is also just page two.
In further instalments, I’ll skip a lot of the set dressing, but it has to be said: in 1974, when Marvel was pumping out comics that contained roughly 17-18 pages of content, it sure didn’t skimp on the events. This issue has a couple of big splashes, and still manages to pack in a lot of plot and character development. For instance, we soon discover that Pete’s on his way to meet Liz Allen, who has found him an apartment in a somewhat shady area of New York. He meets Liz, walks through his apartment, and signs a lease in less than three pages. Less than three pages! That’s something else - or at least it is for a guy like me, who has only recently started to go back and read the comics of this era.
So. Pete grabs an apartment. It’s three and a half rooms in New York for a scant $110 a month, and I just puked in my mouth a little bit looking at that number. My girlfriend and I are paying over ten times that amount in Edmonton and while it has more features than a “cook-in kitchen” and “your own bathroom”, that tiny number surely caused a blood vessel to burst somewhere in my brain. If you don’t hear from me in a few days, avenge me readers. Where was I? Oh yeah. Pete takes the apartment, and then immediately heads to the Bugle offices, where he had quit just a scant few issues ago. He says hi to Betty and Robbie, and is about to beg for some work when… oh snap, it’s THE GRIZZLY!
Naturally, everyone in the building scatters. Well, everyone but Robbie Robertson. Fun fact: Robbie Robertson is the man. He’s the guy you want in your corner. While everyone runs off (including Pete, as he has to don his fancy super duds), Robbie straight up breaks a chair over The Grizzly’s back, because he’s a hard ass motherfucker like that.
This earns Robbie a bit of a slap, but don’t worry! He ends up being okay. Turns out, the Grizzly just wants to get to Jonah and toss the curmudgeon out a window. Because why not? By this time, Pete is in his gear, and makes the awkward decision to save Jonah, after which we are given a brief glimpse at Conway’s immaculate JJJ characterization. After landing on a web net, Jonah quickly begins celebrating the miracle of being alive before… “Oh no! NOT YOU!”
Jonah flips out, and before the end of the issue, swears he will see Spidey in jail for thirty years. Gratitude, thy name is Jonah. Before that, Pete goes a few rounds with The Grizzly who seems to be able to absorb any hit levelled his way. The bad guy reveals that his intention was to rid the world of Jonah, and with that accomplished (and with Spidey playing a bit of possum after a rough hit), he stocks off to fight another day. Pete swings off following the tracer he put on The Grizzly’s back. As he does this, he finds himself thankful for the distraction from his dead girlfriend guilt.
That’s the spirit, Pete! Anyway, Pete walks up to the house The Grizzly appears to be in, and gains entry in his civvies, before being walloped by some green limbs. A turn of the page later, and the mastermind stands revealed
Which is where the issue ends, at a final count of 18 pages. That is still quite astounding to me.
FUN FACT: This story arc marks The Jackal’s second major appearance in the Spider-Man comics. He was also the featured villainous force behind The Punisher’s debut in Amazing Spider-Man #129. He also appeared in the subsequent issue which coincidently marked the debut of The Spider-Mobile.
Next Time: The Grizzly and The Jackal rig Pete’s arm to explode. Like friends do!
To Be Continued…
Grizzly is one of those great C-List Spidey villains. There’s hardly any difference between him and the Rhino, except where the Rhino’s suit (even in its basic gray-with-horn form) looks enough like armour, Grizzly’s looks like a pyjama onesie no matter how you draw it.
Yeah, I love the Grizzly. I think he ends up being part of the League of Losers maybe? Is that what I’m thinking of? I’d have to go and look. Anyway, in his first appearance, he wrecks some stuff but good.