Welcome, dear readers, to our regular letter column; a series of missives from and to the internet, delivered by a series of tubes. We welcome your comments and questions. About anything! We’ll answer it, and at least one of us will take you seriously. Maybe.

It can be about comics! Theoretically, this is a site about them, so we can’t complain when people ask us comics questions, and we’re usually “happy” to answer them. But we also like other things too, you know! Food! Movies! TV! Music! Overly complicated, drawn-out rationales behind liking things! These are some of our favourite things, and maybe if you ask us a meta question about how we come up with rankings or rationales or whatever, maybe we’ll explain it! We like explaining things to you rubes.

You’re welcome, internet.

—————

Ryan (@bakpakit) asks: Which are you more excited about? Lego Ghostbusters or a Back to the Future musical? I’m torn!

James: Lego Ghostbusters, easy. A big reason for this is because I grew up obsessed with the Ghostbusters franchise, and even had the firehouse playset as a kid, complete with a jar of spectral ooze that you could have drip through a grate onto your Egon Spengler action figure and then forget to clean up and it dries and hardens and then your playset is never as much fun again. And I’m also a lifelong fan of Lego; I obviously don’t have as much of it these days, but I still find something relaxing about spending an afternoon building a set while watching TV or listening to music. So the Ghostbusters Lego set is right in my sweet spot.

And as much as I love Back to the Future, I’m just not that big on the idea of seeing it as a musical. The biggest reason there, of course, is that I’m not normally that into musicals, at least ones that aren’t episodes of my favourite TV shows or animated Disney feature films. Stage musicals are ambitious, fun, emotionally evocative works of art… I just don’t connect with them very easily, so the idea of a Back to the Future one, which I’m not even sure I’ll be able to see at all, doesn’t really have the same caché with me that something I can spend a weekend building and then look at everyday does.

Besides, so much of what I love about Back to the Future are the things specific to the original films, in part because unlike Ghostbusters, I didn’t grow up with BttF as a franchise of movies, animated TV series, toys, merchandise and video games. I’m used to thinking of Ghostbusters as a media franchise, but I tend to think of Back to the Future as things like Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd‘s performances, or the effects, or the specific lines of dialogue. I don’t really want to see those translated. I don’t want to hear a rousing singalong of Marty’s discomfort with his teenage mom hitting on him, you know? I like the original just fine, and I wonder how many Back to the Future fans may end up feeling the same way the first time a creative license is taken on-stage.

Brandon: Man, a Back to the Future musical is going to be strange. Which isn’t to say it won’t be pretty cool, given the right creative drive behind it, I’m just failing to see how such a thing would come together conceptually, which might be more of a failure on my part, rather than the part of those attempting to make it. As for the Ghostbusters Lego, I can see that being pretty cool. I can wrap my brain around it. That said, I’m going to hold out for a Lego Ghostbusters video game. I love those games, you guys, so much, and I kinda don’t have the space for Legos.

—————

Ryan continues: What is at the top of each of your Bucket Lists? What’s the most surprising thing on your lists?

James: At the very top is probably retiring to a relatively nice, small house in the country, and spending my autumn years gardening, beekeeping and relaxing with my future wife. Like, that’s my ultimate goal in life. But it’s also less of a specific “thing” than an ongoing one, so I’ll share a few other items on my impromptu list:

• Eat at the French Laundry: Thomas Keller’s restaurant in the Napa Valley is routinely called one of the best restaurants in the world, and I’m entranced by the possibility of eating there. The current prix fixe menu is $270 plus extras like duck, foie gras and wine, so let’s just say you’re walking out of there at a minimum of $350 per person - after all, who goes to the best restaurant in the world and doesn’t get a few extras? - so it’s not exactly something to be taken lightly, but let’s just say when I was planning last summer’s trip to the Bay Area I seriously considered dropping four large to cross this one off the list.
  
• Eat at Sukiyabashi Jiro, the restaurant profiled in Jiro Dreams of Sushi: Another one of those “if you’re going to eat somewhere, eat at the best place” entries. Watching the movie, I was mesmerized by Jiro Ono’s dedication to his craft, and my mouth watered at the sight of all that beautiful sushi, despite having literally stuffed myself with it just a few minutes earlier.
• Attend a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field: I’ve been a Cubs fan since I was a kid, and a big reason were all the games and highlights I saw with that beautiful brick and ivy in the background. It’s celebrating its 100th anniversary this season, and I’m going to be there. The plan is to do a road trip so I can see that big middle expanse of America, stop in Minnesota to see a Twins game and visit friends along the way in Kansas City, so I’m pretty excited.

Brandon: On the top of my Bucket List? Published novelist and comic book creator. The fact that I have yet to do either of those things is more of a specific lack of follow through more than anything else, so we’ll see where that goes. The most surprising thing on my list? Man, anyone who knows me would not be surprised by my list at all, as nebulously as that list exists - but procuring a very specific piece of jewelery for a very specific person is rrrriiiiiiiight at the top there, lemme tell you. And, of course, the incredible future that would unfold afterwards is right up there too.

—————

Ryan gets curious: Are you going to watch the Super Bowl this weekend? Who do you want to win? More importantly…SCRIVENS!

James: I am! I don’t really have a team I really want to win, because I’m a very haphazard NFL fan (I admire the athletes’ skill but vastly prefer the Canadian game’s rules and field dimensions) and the team I generally cheer for, the Minnesota Vikings (because Warren Moon played for them and Minnesota is almost Canada anyway), isn’t in the game. That said, I like the city of Seattle, and I’ve actually seen a Seahawks game before, so I’m mildly cheering for the Seahawks. Russell Wilson and Richard Sherman seem like standup dudes, so I don’t mind the idea of them winning.

Also, I guess that Scrivens is a dude who people were really upset when the Oilers traded for him, and then he had a good game and now everybody loves him and refuses to acknowledge that they ever doubted him, so uh, good job I guess, all those Oilers fans.

Brandon: A lot of this ended up coming together fairly far into Friday and work had it’s hooks into me pretty good, sooooo at this point in time, the game is happening right now. And I’m writing my Um, Actually answers - which should probably tell you everything you could want to know about Brandon and Sport Things.

—————

Ryan gets funky: Which super villain (in any medium) has the coolest secret headquarters/lair?

James: Doctor Doom, in a walk. Ryan, his secret hideout is a castle IN HIS OWN COUNTRY THAT HE RULES. The whole nation of Latveria is basically his lair, and that is the most baller move imaginable. Aside from that, it also creates a lot of really interesting story possibilities by introducing the dynamic that Doom isn’t just a crazed supervillain, but also a diplomat and possessing the immunity that comes with it.

Brandon: I would argue that his secret headquarters is not, in fact, a secret at all [Ed. Note: While the location is widely known, I (James) would argue the lair itself is secret because of the small number of people who have seen the inside of Castle Doom... and lived to tell the tale]. That said, stationary and perpetual secret lairs don’t really exist within the super medium - as they pretty much exist as a secret in order to get discovered… after which, they usually stop existing. So, yeah. Doom probably has the coolest thing going. A side thought: I really liked Paul Dini’s Broker character he had wandering through his Bat-titles when he was writing comics a few years back. He was straight up a dude who found things like abandoned carnivals, and “acquired” them for villains. I’d love to see more of that kind of thing.

—————

Ryan is hungry: Toast, Bagel, English Muffin or Crumpet? Which is the best toastable breakfast food?

James: Well, the real best answer is the biscuit, but I guess that if you’re going to be wrong about it, you might as well go with the bagel, the Cadillac of being wrong about breakfast. It’s dense and chewy, and that strength lets it hold up to a wide variety of different spreads and toppings. Plus, the classic combo of bagels, cream cheese and smoked salmon is 2 legit 2 quit, and you can take that to the bank, brother.

Brandon: I can’t argue with bagel logic. Beyond that, I like english muffins, if only because I used to have those a lot with melted Kraft Singles melted on top - the breakfast of poor-as-fuck-single-parent-family champions. Despite it’s relative fall from grace as I’ve gained tastebuds, I can still eat that combo and get fuzzy thoughts of being a kid and not having to worry about shit at all.

—————

Ryan is angry: Why would DC cast Jesse ‘Facebook’ Eisenberg as Lex Luthor over rumoured Bryan Cranston/Joaquin Phoenix?

Brandon: My thoughts? Eh. James is about to drop some knowledge shortly, but my feelings go along the same lines of when Robert Downey Jr. was cast as Tony Stark, and everyone went god damn crazy on me. While almost everyone claims to have thought the casting was a great idea all along, I went through months at the comic store hearing nothing but people complaining about the choice. Same with Heath Ledger as The Joker. Just let the good folks cast and make their movie. More often than not, they are the best judge of what they want from who they can get.

James: This is why I have my longstanding opinion that one should pay as little attention to production/casting rumours as possible: the only possible result is being angry about or disappointed in something. And for the record, my official answer is “because they have a specific idea in mind that Eisenberg fits into, and that Cranston/Phoenix was too expensive/said no/was never actually being considered/take your pick.”

And let’s remember that there was never actually anything to suggest that Cranston especially was ever in contention for the role. The original news came from the Latino Review, a site that literally only exists to make up unsubstantiated rumours and collect the ad view dollars that result from it, and fans ran with it because they like Cranston and he was bald for a significant portion of his most famous role to date. Hell, when asked about it, Cranston basically said the exact same thing and further squashed the rumours right there, which is where they should have ended. And Variety’s report about Phoenix being the studio’s choice for the role was based on unnamed sources and still emphasized that Phoenix probably wouldn’t do it anyway. So really, all of this was basically just fans getting the remotest whim of something and building it up into something it was never going to be.

My general advice in this situation is simple: calm yo tits. Stay away from production rumours and news, and try to take the most open mind imaginable into a movie as a result. Eisenberg’s a talented actor, and the role you dismissed as “Facebook” got him a bunch of award wins and an Oscar nomination. That role in question was based on aloofness and haughty, aggressive superiority as well as a raging jealousy of people given wealth/power and who didn’t earn it, which basically makes him sound exactly like a lot of interpretations of Lex Luthor.

A final bit: comic book fans have literally the worst track record in reactions to casting decisions. They as a group shit on every single bit of casting because it’s not their dream casting (usually Nathan Fillion) or because they can’t fathom that someone who isn’t easily Photoshopped into a fan trailer or poster might do a good job, or whose natural disposition seems at odds with a fictional character’s nature. Which is to say that they tend to fundamentally ignore the entire premise of acting itself. I’m not directing this at you, but at the nebulous fan gestalt that convinces themselves everything will be bad, declares they won’t see it, sees it anyway and refuses to acknowledge they were ever wrong.

Let’s be real, though: anybody who goes into the Man of Steel sequel/Justice League prequel already hating it is going to hate it anyway, and I’m not gonna convince anyone otherwise. So just don’t see it if you don’t think you’ll like it, and either way, relax about casting rumours, because they’re even more worthless than promotional stills and low-quality cell phone photos of unverifiable marketing materials. Speaking of which…

—————

Ryan asks: Are you guys upset with the Sentinel designs from X-Men Days of Future Past like so many other people?

and

Jay (@jayrunham) asks: What are your thoughts on the latest TMNT (that’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) photo leaks? [Related to another question Jay mused about earlier in the week, "How can people have zero confidence in a film that hasn't even released an official still yet? Stop judging a movie based on shitty cellphone pictures!"]

James: Ryan, I’m not angry about them, because I actually like the designs of the Future Sentinel. It looks like a terrifying extension of what the older Sentinels might look like. And as far as the “They don’t look like the purple/pink ones we know and constantly complain about but hey let’s ignore that part love!” argument goes, I’ve got a few answers:

• It’s called the “Future Sentinel” because there’s also a regular “Sentinel” that has more of the features and colouring that fans of the comics and that garbage cartoon will be familiar with;
  
• The Sentinels aren’t just a “Here’s one thing now and forever” deal. Their whole premise is that they are constantly being upgraded and have new versions. They can look like literally anything as long as they hunt mutants. In fact, the appearance of the Future Sentinel looks a lot like the giant “assembled out of smaller ones” Sentinels from existing comics (including, I think, Grant Morrison’s New X-Men run, though I might be wrong about that). I saw it and immediately thought, “Okay, I can see how they got there;”
• One of the core principles of the X-Men franchise is alternate future versions of shit.

And Jay, my answer to why people get bent out of shape about this stuff is my old standby: a combination of selfish entitlement born of thinking they liked something “first,” which breeds the kind of “It’s not like how I built it up in my mind” reaction. Second, the immediacy of the internet, which encourages thoughtless, knee-jerk reactions, especially if a company can get ad views from capitalizing on it. Third, an obsession with production news and gossip because it can be genuinely difficult to wait for something to come out and these tidbits feed that desire. And finally, a refusal to reconsider initial reactions as the basic of a mature, ongoing thought process.

Seriously: with TMNT, the whole thing is happening because people know Michael Bay is producing the movie (read: not writing or directing, i.e. not having the major creative voice), and they hate him, so they immediately decided it would be terrible. Anything that comes out only serves to further that opinion, whether it’s low-quality, unsubstantiated rumour, unreleased (and likely not final) material or whatever. And hey, I get that these designs look different than what we’re used to. Just like the original movies looked different from the cartoon, which looked different from the comics, and which all look different from the other shows that have come out since. The franchise is constantly redefining what the Turtles look like, only now people are coming at it as snarky adults instead of children with exactly zero taste.

In short: everybody needs to calm their goddamn tits.

Brandon: Right around the time initial drafts or ideas had the Turtles being aliens and not mutants, I ended up having a conversation with one of the shop owners, telling him that I was starting to understand why people got so upset about things like the direction of the G.I. Joe movies, and the Transformer movies. As I stood on that ledge, looking down at the chasm set to devour me whole, the owner said, “Yeah, it’s like that stupid cartoon they made in the 80s”. Taken aback, I stepped away from that metaphorical edge, having hit by a single, unmutable fact: the cartoon was what made me a fan of the Turtles. They are the reason why I now have and appreciate a good chunk of the original source material. These movies, no matter how well or poorly they turn out are a) completely beyond our control and 2) are being made to grab a new audience, to add those numbers to that of the old audience, many of whom no longer care about the characters, or are dead, because: life. Without new product, or refreshed looks, a concept can and will die. Think what you will about a movie, but don’t begrudge the new audience. Think of it as an opportunity to educate if you really need that, but dammit, calm down and let people like what they want.

—————

Jay gets down to comics (sigh): If I wanted to read some of Craig Kyle or Chris Yost’s best stuff, where would the best place to start be?

James: The two wrote the X-23 miniseries together, which is a good teen mutant story. I’m also a big fan of their run on New X-Men as it focused on the new class of students at the Xavier school. I enjoyed but was less wild about their X-Force run, so I’d say start with X-23: Innocence Lost and the Target X follow-up, as it’s the introduction to the character and as a result is relatively low-continuity. After that, I’d go into New X-Men, which has more characters and continuity, and is thus a little harder to get into, but which prominently features the character of Laura (X-23) and so will be a natural transition.

Warning: any “low-continuity” X-Men stories tend to still have some continuity because it’s the X-Men and they’re insane.

Bonus: You like Michael Jordan. His number was 23. That’s part of X-23′s codename. Boom.

Brandon: I was less of a fan of the Craig Kyle/Chris Yost pair comics. When they took over New X-Men, they promptly murdered a large number of the cast Jesus style on the front lawn of the school, which soured me on their take, and much of their output tends to be fairly violent. That said, Craig Kyle hasn’t done a whole lot of straight comic book work - he’s always been an “other” media guy. Chist Yost has gone on to do quite a few great comic runs, including his twelve issues of Red Robin, which ended supurbly. But hey, if you want to check out something of Craig Kyle and Chris Yost that I really enjoyed, I point you towards the X-Men: Evolution cartoon. It’s also where X-23 came from. (Oh, and Yost was one of the driving forces behind the Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes incarnation of the cartoon, which was great, and featured a lot of storytelling that he would later use as one of the co-writers of Thor 2).

—————

Jay wraps up: What’s your favourite 2D side-scrolling video game?

James: With that, I have to go with classic Mario, and probably specifically Mario 3. I really love Super Mario World too, but I didn’t own a SNES so I don’t have as much experience with or nostalgia for it as I do the NES-era games.

Brandon: Mario 3 all the way! Just… would super love some save points, is all.

—————

That’s it for the one hundred and twenty-ninth instalment of Um, Actually. Check in every Monday and Thursday for a brand new column. If you have anything you’d like answered, hit up our contact page! If you submit anything via Twitter – to @blogaboutcomics, @Leask, or @soupytoasterson – remember to include the hashtag #UMACTUALLY so that we don’t lose it. Remember: you can ask us anything. Seriously, anything.