Sometimes, when a topic is too big for just one of us to respond to, we join our powers in a giant lion robot of positivity. Fighting against the evil Zarkon or simply clarifying our opinions that are different than others’, the Double Team prowls the internet, ever hungering for truth, justice and a Luther Burger.

Recently, the issue of spoilers and comic book websites came up when Ed Brubaker, writer of great comics, took issue with the tendency of many comic book sites to post spoilers of new comics - often in the headlines of articles themselves - before many readers have the chance to find out in the comics themselves, and, like in the case of Fear Itself #7.1 this week, before the comic itself hits the stands. In response to Brubaker, Dan C. over at comics website Die Screaming posted his rationale for following suit with sites like Comic Book Resources and Bleeding Cool and posting the spoilers, namely that despite a real detriment to fans, it’s a simple rule of competition.

And guys? We just don’t agree.

Straw Men and other Useful Devices:

A fun essay by James

First of all, let me say that I had the ending for Fear Itself 7.1 ruined for me by not only a website that posted it, but by the immediate internet discussion over it that I have considerably less control over, something that Die Screaming rather blithely refers to as “collateral damage.” And honestly, I think that’s the worst part this whole spoilers scenario: that it creates a bad situation and then completely disregards and disrespects the readers the sites want to court.

I’m not naive. I understand that other sites have staffs and costs and advertisers to please, and that comes with bills, bills, bills of a Knowlesian proportion. It might be easier to take a chastising opinion when my C!TB-related costs are approximately $4 a month, payable to Brandon in food. But I’m a comics fan as well as a comics site operator, and an important result of that combination is that I am constantly taking the former into consideration when doing the latter.

As a fan, it is absolutely fucked up that it is increasingly becoming an expectation that I not visit almost any comics websites every Wednesday, even if comics haven’t actually been released yet, because some headline might actually describe the final page reveal. It’s even more messed up that it’s getting to the point where I can’t load up my Twitter feed either, as a direct result. I love reading comics and I love reading about them, but generally with that order. I like hitting the last page of an issue and having my mind blown away by a twist or a cliffhanger, and that’s something I want to preserve as much as I can. And when a comics website operator will explicitly acknowledge that the practice of seeking hits is done “at the detriment to the people who actually buy and read comic books,” I honestly do not see an excuse. You don’t get to say you agree with why comics creators and comics fans are upset and then proceed to actively upset them. There are some arguments you simply don’t get to take both sides of and still claim the moral superiority of both. If you are going to actively try to ruin the experiences of fans like me, own it. An apology that comes with saying you’ll still do it anyway because that’s just the Game isn’t an apology, or even decent. As a fan, it directly affects which sites I choose to patronize.

As someone who operates a comics website, I absolutely refuse to compromise the reading experience of readers. At a base level, this is why Brandon and I only talk about comics we like. It’s also why we do not spoil the endings of comics. When Johnny Storm died, we wrote one spoiler-free reaction piece and then a review later with the fact that it contained spoilers clearly marked in the title. Hell, I even wrote a spoiler-free article about getting the ending spoiled for me (for the record, completely by accident by another fan, who was aghast that he’d done it). That’s three articles we got out of that one comic and none of them were to the detriment of anyone.

One of the arguments Dan uses in his explanation is that other sites are doing it, that “it is what it is,” and what it is is a situation where he has to post the spoilers to stay competitive, and that if other sites are doing it, there’s no real additional damage. Now, before anything else, if “The other kids are doing it, too!” wasn’t a valid excuse for doing something wrong when we were six years old, it certainly isn’t when we are grown-ass adults. Period.

Second, I think the damage is cumulative; it’s not about one site doing it and all of a sudden that information is out there in front of everyone. I don’t read every comics website and I imagine most people don’t. Some people just read a couple and might not check them constantly. Others might only read Die Screaming, and it’s them - his most dedicated readers - that Dan claims are “collateral damage”. One step further removed, every extra article out there increases the chance that someone will have the ending spoiled for them. And I don’t want any part of increasing that chance.

Plus, and I can’t stress this enough, the idea that sites have to post spoilers to be competitive is flawed on its most basic level. Do you know how I know that? ComicsAlliance, the number one most-visited comics site on the internet, didn’t post an article about the Fear Itself #7.1 spoiler. As a general rule, they never post spoilers in headlines and whatever spoilers there might be are hidden behind the “Keep Reading” wall. They are the most competitive comics website and they don’t have to resort to ruining reader experiences, so no, I don’t think to be successful you have to be callous and disrespectful towards the fans you want to court. You certainly don’t have to post a full page scan of the final page of a comic (like Comic Book Resources did) or a spoiler-containing headline (like Bleeding Cool did), in both cases hours before you could have legally purchased the comic. You don’t have to rely on a retailer violating their agreements with Diamond - and let’s not mince words, that’s exactly what this is - to be successful. When the most successful site out there is perhaps the most moral one, the argument that you have to ruin someone’s experience to be successful goes out the window. It’s what I appreciate as a fan and it’s the model I try to emulate as a site operator.

So let’s just be awesome together. Cool? Cool!

Brandon writes things about being a retailer and a fan and a sex machine

Comics would be so much easier to sell if I just spoiled the hell out of them for you. No really, they would.

A couple of weeks ago, on the same day Fear Itself drew to a close, Marvel started publishing the follow-up. A pretty good marketing move, keeping the momentum going at its peak, rather than waiting a week for when interest has waned. Except there was a problem. A big one. Before people would sign on for another six months worth of stories, they wanted to know what the book was about. And I couldn’t tell them. No wait, strike that - I could tell them. I can tell them. But I would not and I won’t. To do so, I’d have to let the air out of a story people have been waiting well over half a year to see the ending of. That’s a lot of anticipation, of time, of money that would be completely wasted so that I could make a quick buck. Ruining the book would’ve been great for business - but sometimes, it can’t be about that. Emphasis on sometimes.

The comic book spoiler culture is a delicate thing. The state of the industry, such as it is, sometimes demands spoilers to drive sales. A prime example of this, is the death of Johnny Storm. It was something that had a build over half a year long, counting the time involved with the storyline’s solicitation, as well as the five month period the story itself shipped over. During that time, Marvel teased that one of the four was marked for death - and on the day the last issue hit, they blitzed the internet with the identity of which member would meet their untimely death. This was company sanctioned spoilerage, hitting the internet a good 10 hours before comic stores on the east coast could legally sell copies to their customers. A bit of a dick move, yes. But here’s the thing. Taking a look back at my Fantastic Four numbers? We were selling roughly ⅗ of what FF has been consistently sold since then. Consistently. Had Marvel not done the build, had they not pushed the storyline into the forefront of people’s minds, the new launch wouldn’t have gone half as well. The story would’ve hit like a tonne of bricks, yes, but the sales? Forget it. We would definitely not be in a position where the team could support two ongoing books like we are now.

And that, I’m okay with. I’m more than okay with. It’s a calculated move by a company to get more people to read a book that more people should’ve been reading. It excites people.

Now on the other hand, there’s spoilers done for little other reason than to get a cheap bump in website hits. Things like that, I have a problem with. The difference seems a little arbitrary, but there’s a huge, huge difference. Boasting of spoilers by an individual, is an inherently selfish thing. It benefits no one but the person who is proudly ruining a book for thousands, and even then, the benefits are short term and nebulous at best. You told everyone that big twist at the end of that book first? Good job, champ. You’re the king of the assholes. Enjoy your brief but fleeting moment of superiority, and the hits that will evaporate when the cheap pop wears off.

Fact is, I could absolutely spoil a myriad of things for everyone if I wanted to. Marvel and a few other companies will often hand out previews of completed books long before It would allow me to sell a few more comics, and it would probably do wonders for the Wednesday morning site hits. But at the same time, it would also deaden that excitement, that palpable giddiness that comes when you get to go to the comic shop and read amazing things. I would never want to do something to make people less excited about comics.

Again, the difference between the two is largely arbitrary. Both instances produce similar results. But one is done with the intent of getting people excited about comics. It’s done with the backing of years of marketing experience and a structure through which that excitement can get more people reading comics. The other is greedy and diminishing, and actively harms the industry, and its readers. So please. For the sake of us all. Don’t be assholes. Don’t spoil books because of some bullshit about the competitive comic book news landscape. You just end up looking like all of those assholes in everything Aaron Sorkin has ever written. And those people? Are the worst assholes.

I am a sex machine.