Howdy there, sports fans and not sports fans! How was your weekend? Inclusive of people of all interests and hobbies? I thought so! You guys are just swell. But I know why you’re here: sweet, juicy tripewiches! Mmm-MMM, entrails!

Anyway, while you’re slurping that, why not read about some comics we liked last week?

WORST KINGPIN OF THE CHINATOWN UNDERWORLD

Did you know that kung-fu related deaths have been up 200% since the X-Men moved to San Francisco? There’s definitely a reason for that. Suffice to say, when Wolverine arrived in San Francisco, he did not wear flowers in his hair, and everything went to shit. Or, if I’m going to be factually reliable, he came to the city, claimed his place as the town’s Black Dragon (kingpin of San Fran’s Chinatown Underworld) and then promptly forgot to do his job. To be fair, during this time, he had to deal with being shot at with bullets laced with 38 different kinds of cancer. Oh, and he was also sent to hell by all of his bastard children, who then committed all kinds of murder/suicides to get back at their illegitimate old man. Suffice to say, the man was busy, and so when it comes time to leave San Francisco, he finds his “empire” in shambles - and must set about making things right before he fucks off to the east coast once again. It’s a story that involves a talking gorilla, dragons, and some good old fashioned kung fu, and it’s rad as hell.

The “Wolverine becomes The Black Dragon” arc has to be one of my favourite Wolvie stories of all time (though that list is really, really small, because I don’t care so much for the guy) and Jason Aaron’s brief return to the concept is a high-octane return to form - and thus we award this book the exceedingly rare Snikt! is Another Word For I Love You Award for being both taller, and baller. (B)

WHEN ADORABLENESS ATTACKS

It should come as no surprise that here at C!TB we are fans of fun in comics, especially of fun that can be had by people of all ages. If it is a surprise, then it must be your first time here! Welcome!

But yes, Brandon and I like fun, and month by month, there’s perhaps no series as fun as Art Baltazar and Franco‘s Tiny Titans, which manages to be witty, fun and tremendously funny in a comic that’s ostensibly for kids but is really for anyone who’s ready to giggle for about ten straight minutes like I did. One of the ways the series sucks in adults as well as younger audiences is that Art and Franco are massive comics fans and insert any number of characters, jokes and wordplay that will undoubtedly go over the heads of many kids who are reading, but make their parents smile. All that came to a zenith this week when their comic featured adorable versions of the Secret Six, aka the least children-friendly series in superhero comics.

That is them playing soccer against the Birds of Prey (led by Coach Huntress) and oh my god I think I can die happy now. It is such pure fun and it’s pulled off so well. It’s a laugh for the adults, who know that a kid-friendly Rag Doll is hilariously absurd, and at the same time a kid-friendly Rag Doll absolutely works in a comic where the “villains” are actually really nice schoolteachers and where after playing soccer, the Secret Six and Birds of Prey go out for ice cream.

And that’s not even all! This is an issue that also features:

• All the Robins (including Carrie Kelly) and all the Batgirls, including Stephanie Brown, who’s BOTH.
• Pantha as every soccer team’s secret weapon
• Jive-talkin’ bats
• The Robins playing soccer against Bat-Cow, Aqua-Cow and Flaming Head Cow and losing, itself a callback to the time Robin fought a cow for the right to be Batman and lost
• Damien Wayne riding Bat-Cow

Basically, this comic is maybe in my Top 5 Things Ever and it should be in yours, too. To show my gratitude, I’m giving it the Battle for the Cow Award. (J)

This week I was reminded that the internet is a terrible, horrifying place. As much as I adore the canvas and the freedom of it, the interwebs often hews towards the negative and the subtractive, which is just draining when you attempt to drink it all in. It’s the reason why we decided to form Comics! The Blog roughly a year ago, and why we stick to our two editorial mandates of “be positive” and “be better”. Which is the long drawn out way of saying this week’s Best has weathered its fair share of negative press - and quite wrongfully so.

What Matt Fraction and Stuart Immonen have achieved with Fear Itself is nothing short of amazing. It’s a new paradigm for big events, tackling the idea of an event from a different angle than most. While pretty much all other event comics start with a big jolting start before ebbing and building once more, the creators on Fear Itself opted for a pure, internal build. The beginning started quite leisurely, giving the series a base from which to escalate. In doing this, not only did Fraction and Immonen provide reference for what was at stake, but they also erased any danger of their ending being hobbled by a big-guns beginning. Think back to a lot of the recent events out there. The opening salvo is usually something shocking, generally involving a loss before the heroes get their junk together. It makes for some doldrum-inducing middle issues, while the conflict once again ramps from a regroup. In Fear Itself, there is no drop, only a build as the tensions and troubles stack upon themselves, threatening to crush all those below - and in the end, it does. While the heroes win, it comes at quite a price, one that you feel because the pages up until then earned your emotional attachment.

As the hammer falls at the end, not only do you get cool moments - not only does the Marvel universe shift and move in mysterious ways - it hits you really hard, right in the heart. And dammit, tell me the last time an event did that to you, truly. Something like that has to overcome a certain suspension of disbelief, as we’ve all been conditioned to believe that death within the pages of this universe is mailable at best - but that emotion, and those final words… it rings so true, and when you read that one exchange, you witness time stand still.

God damn.

And so, we bestow Fear Itself #7 the honour of our Best of the Week. Other upcoming comic book events, take note: not only will this book be a fantastic low continuity read for the future, it will still feel weighty, no matter how much time has passed. And if I’m not mistaken, that’s the goal, right?

(B)

This is Comics! The Blog. We now commence our broadcast week.