[After the “noted” “success” of our LOST rewatch two years ago, James and Scott are back to prepare for the release of Avengers: Age of Ultron the only way they know how: by going through the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe, movie by movie. We are not very imaginative. Check in every week as we go into way too much detail about pop entertainment and frequently say people are wrong about things.]

James: Hey, hoss.

Scott: What’s up, James Bradshaw Leaskfield?

James: Other than you comparing me to an awful wrestling commentator, I’m not doing too bad!

Scott: I’ve finally reached Paul Rudd time in my Friends watching

James: oh, Paul Rudd. I love him

It’s weird - I was SO EXCITED for FRIENDS to be on Netflix, even though I have like 7 seasons on DVD, and I actually haven’t queued it up there once. I only watch it in syndication on WGN late at night.

Scott: Probably for the best. The Rembrandts are starting to lose their charm

James: I find that not too long after Ross loses his charm permanently (season 5) they start actively making him the butt of the joke forever

Scott: He actually becomes insufferable by the time he and Rachel accidentally get married.

James: Yup! But then the finale hits, and when the premiere arrives he’s permanently the show’s whipping boy. But man, remembering that Ross popularized the term “friend zone” (well, Joey did when TALKING about Ross), yeesh

Scott: Yeah I’m sure the producers are stoked about that addition to the lexicon. In fairness to Joey and Ross, it was about Ross declaring his feelings, not about Rachel being some kind of b-word.

James: The whole show holds up remarkably well, but I think the classic seasons are still 3-7. But I say that as someone whose hairstyle is basically “the Rachel”

And Season 4 is the best one. Partially because Ross temporarily gets his charm back, mostly because of a series of classic episodes like “The One With The Embryos.” Which I assume we can both agree is the series’ best episode

Scott: For the subplot about the quiz? Yes. Classic.

James: And also because I think pregnancy is Phoebe’s tipping point away from being the goofy hippie to being the show’s stealth best character

Scott: Legit

James: Welcome, readers, to FRIENDStalk, Comics! The Blog’s recap of every FRIENDS and JOEY episode

Scott: Joey sure was a show that was briefly on television!

James: With costar Andrea Anders!

Scott: So besides the underachieving career of the former female lead from Better Off Ted, what are we here to discuss?

James: For once, we’re actually NOT here to discuss television, one of like four things you and I talk about, besides Big Star, one hit wonders and Mark Waid. We’re actually here to talk about movies!

Scott: Uh, we talk about wrestling too, James.

But yes, MOOOOOOVIES! Specifically the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

James: YES! Ever since we finished our LOST rewatch, you and I have been trying to come up with a new rewatch project, and while we honestly could have done FRIENDS pretty easily, we instead had the idea to rewatch and discuss all the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, going in chronological order of release, leading up to the release day of AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON.

This will be an interesting rewatch. Some of the movies will be ones I haven’t seen since the first time I watched them in the theatre, while others are ones that I’m deeply intimate with. I imagine that’s the same for you?

Scott: There are definitely ones I’ve watched many times and others I never bothered to check out again after the requisite superfan viewing. I’ve come out of every single one of them having enjoyed it, but it will be interesting to see which ones hold up, whether my standards have changed, or if some pale in comparison to others. Because we all know, art and entertainment is a competition and it IS possible to win.

James: There are definitely ones I remember liking more than others, and my relationship with some of the movies has changed the more I’ve seen them, even if they hold up well. And 2008’s IRON MAN is definitely one of those.

Scott: IRON MAN, where it all started. Marvel, having sold off the rights to so many of its greatest properties, elected Tony Stark as the many to kick off the brand for their shared movie universe. Do you remember how you felt when this all as beginning?

James: I remember being surprised. I hadn’t been into comics that long - I jumped back into superheroes with INFINITE CRISIS in early 2006 - but even I understood that Iron Man wasn’t really one of Marvel’s A-list heroes at the time. Even as I was excited that Marvel was taking creative control over their movies, I recognized that they probably would have rather started that with Spider-Man, the X-Men or one of the other properties they sold off when they were trying to avoid bankruptcy. That said, I was 100% down for Robert Downey, Jr. to be Tony Stark right from the start, unlike all the dweebs who CLAIM they were but were the people who disagree with every single superhero casting announcement.

Scott: I remember, as a comic fan, being a bit confused. Iron Man didn’t seem like the franchise player we now know him to be, but I realized later how well the concept lends itself to a movie, making it probably the perfect entry point. As for RDJ, I wasn’t overly familiar with his work, I only knew his reputation as a drunken reprobate with likely an amount of charm, so I figured he was a perfect fit. I honestly don’t get why anybody WOULD have doubted that this would work, except maybe that his star was pretty dim at the time as he was mounting his comeback.

James: Part of the reason I might have been so down for him as Tony Stark is that I was a big fan of KISS KISS BANG BANG (a movie by Shane Black, who RDJ would be reunited with in IRON MAN 3), and Downey’s reprobate act in it especially. In fact, about two months before IRON MAN came out I had just finished a comparative literature course where KISS KISS BANG BANG was part of my final project, so I’d spent days going through the movie and psyching myself up for Robert Downey, Jr. But, I mean… a talented but cocky guy with substance issues, dark hair and frequently a goatee playing Tony Stark? That’s the actual perfect choice.

Scott: It is quite simply the part that Downey was born to play. (It sure as hell wasn’t Sherlock Holmes.) There’s not a second of this movie where Downey isn’t acting perfectly, right from the opening scene of him snarking off in the Humvee, drink in hand, flirting with female soldiers.

James: That brings us to the start of the movie, which does a REALLY good job establishing Tony Stark as a charming scumbag. And, equally, Marvel Studios’ soon-to-be-proud history of using bro rock in its soundtracks.

Scott: You gotta LOVE this guy but he is such a DICK. Magnetic, egotistical, smarter than everyone else in the room. Completely somehow justified in all his cockiness and swagger.

James: Yeah, and that’s a really smart marriage of script and actor, even if I’m a little uncomfortable, seven years later, with the “Good god, you’re a woman?” line. But, well… douchebag.

Scott: And yes, the bro-rock is strong in the IM movies, to the point where the second one’s soundtrack functions as a de facto greatest hits for AC/DC (who have never released a proper one of their own volition.) But that’s getting a bit ahead of ourselves. I actually always liked how this movie begins in medias res, since starting with the Award Banquet would be a bit of a slow way to open up.

James: Absolutely. Starting with the instigating act of Tony’s journey and then flashing back to the day before it is pretty smart, and a good way to get people excited. Loud music, jokes, explosions. That’s a better introduction than hilarious archival photos of Tony Stark’s stripe goatee and the hilarious idea that Rolling Stone would do a cover puff piece on an arms dealer.

Scott: So let’s talk a bit about who Tony IS at the beginning of this movie, because he *is* an arms dealer, but to get us to root for him a bit, they throw in some stuff about medical advancements and “intellicrops.”

James: A Stark Industries missile (foreshadowing!) explodes Tony’s Funvee, tears up his chest and we cut back to him being absent from his own awards ceremony to party, which seems like something SOMEONE there would have noticed. It’s a surprisingly nuanced view of broad societal technological developments coming from companies with shadier, more violent sides, which means, of course, it has to go.

Scott: They give us this idea that Stark Industries has its hand in a lot of pots (after all, the Arc Reactor was at least lip service to this) but that arms dealing is the main engine of the company, and Tony is pretty okay with that because it’s at a distance, I guess. The banquet following the cold open is nice, actually, because we’re ready for the infodump. It’s a bit blatant, about Howard Stark and Obadiah and everything, but ultiamtely it’s tidy and effective and goes away quick.

James: Plus, the foreshadowing of Obadiah Stane, Tony’s business partner, accepting Tony’s award on his behalf while saying, “I’m not Tony, but if I WERE Tony…”

I can’t remember how early I picked up on the obvious Jeff Bridges heel turn (I didn’t read the comics so I didn’t know Obie is a notable Iron Man villain), but they start seeding it from literally his first sentence.

Scott: It almost feels seeded right in his whole look. I love Jeff Bridges and he does an amazing job in this movie, but Obadiah has looks that scream “I AM THE BAD GUY.” Yet, you could believe he would be pals with Tony/RDJ, because he’s Jeff fricking Bridges.

James: There’s definitely something inherently villainous about Jeff Bridges shaving his head.

Scott: The only reason to foresake the Dude’s luscious locks is the dark side.

James: Like, it marks him as the OPPOSITE of the Dude. It’s hilariously blunt. This movie holds up really well, but it’s funny to see how completely unsubtle it was being. Everything after the cold open for like 15 minutes is just ratatatatat efficient. You’ve barely had time to be introduced to the idea of Tony before they’ve subverted and expanded it with his partying and womanizing, and then moved on to showing the morning after scene, which introduces Pepper Potts as his girl Friday AND establishes that he’s frickin’ created a real, genuine AI in the form of Jarvis. It’s a ton of swagger right from the start, which is really interesting to see considering how nobody fuckin’ knew who Iron Man was at the time, not really. Like, we all knew he was a dude in a metal suit and maybe that he had a goatee.

Scott: The first of many points where I will notice how great the “technological advancements” in this movie are. We may not be that far from JARVISes in our homes, but it feels like nothing will ever be as good as presented here.

James: That’s something really interesting that I wrote down in my notes for the movie: this movie presents a world that is a lot like ours but simultaneously, casually way more advanced.

Scott: Stark is practically *wasting* his time making bombs, keeping his genius-level AI and holographic interfaces to himself. Think about the implications of a world where Tony Stark built a machine that DRESSES him as Iron Man, let alone the actual Iron Man suit.

James: He’s got easily miniaturized (easy to him) clean energy technology he created literally just to shut up hippies! He has sentient robots that he uses mostly to be the targets of his casual emotional abuse!

Scott: Poor Fire Extinguisher Robot. Why was he programmed to feel the shame of Tony’s disappointment?

James: Paul Bettany giving the surf report and lightening the auto-tinting windows is just the tip of the iceberg.

Scott: Okay, but yes, after the banquet comes the “seducing the reporter” scene, which is our interruption to Pepper Potts, and as much as I like busting on the real-life Gwyneth Paltrow, she does a great job here and is given some good stuff to work with.

Shocker: This highly ambitious movie designed to launch a dozen-movie franchise is well cast.

James: Even director Jon Favreau makes a really good Happy Hogan.

[Scott: He does! Speaking of Friends, in fact. He has such a good onscreen presence.

James: And Leslie Bibb is a FANTASTIC addition as a young, idealistic reporter who is not quite ethical enough to not sleep with the guy she’s trying to destroy.

Scott: I wasn’t too far out of J-school yet when this first came out that I didn’t remember that was a bad thing.

James: Shocker to believe you’re not currently employed as a journalist. Shocking.

Scott: Yeah, I slept with one of the Dragon’s Den millionaires.

James: There’s no shame in that. But yes: super good casting! Paltrow is a big reason why Pepper Potts is a significant character in the AVENGERS franchise

Scott: Bibb even refers to her as “the famous Pepper Potts” and you can believe this highly-competent woman-behind-the-man would get SOME press.

Anyway, back to Afghanistan, where Tony is delivering a sales pitch for his latest superbomb.

James: Oh man, that superbomb promo. It’s really nice that the last thing we see before he gets his ass blown up is him at Peak Sleaze. Seeing Tony basically talk about how he can out-Machiavelli the Prince as he poses Christ-like in front of an explosion is something else.

Scott: The high point of the Jericho Bomb Spiel is “That’s how America does it!” So believable.

For those of you tuning in, this writeup is being done by two Canadians with less-than-positive feelings about the Military-Industrial complex.

James: The movie has an interesting, not entirely consistent view of America as being both Super Awesome and Ingenious and also as Stark symbolizing its amoral excesses. America is kinda bad-by-association when Tony’s giving this spiel, but when he makes his face turn, so does America. It was actually kind of weird to see, because I hadn’t really noticed it before. Heck, when Rhodey (played by the too-good-for-this-franchise Terence Howard) gets drunk, he talks about how great the army is because it’s all about noble service and brotherhood. And yet arms dealing is morally grey! It’s weird.

Scott: I did note that scene down! Poor Howard, this role is the one that slipped by as he’s mostly just there to be Tony’s wet blanket, but that “I put on this uniform” drunken discussion is quite a good moment of bonding, where he confesses he sees something more noble in Tony. It’s treated as a throwaway, but it plays more as a “You know Tony’s about to become a super good guy” easter egg.

James: But before he becomes a super good guy, he’s gotta get a reason. And that reason is one of his own weapons blowing him half to death, at which point he wakes up in a cave, prisoner to terrorists, with an impressively engineered makeshift electromagnet connected to a car battery keeping shrapnel out of his heart.

One thing we skipped over was also that Tony, in the first real moment of vulnerability he has, admitting to Pepper that he has no family, and that he’s got no one but her.

Scott: Shaun Toub plays Yinsen, who fills the mentor role in this hero’s journey, the guy who gives Tony his start down the right path.

James: He’s hilariously well-dressed, too. He’s in this cave with captors covered in dust and a roommate wearing a grubby t-shirt, and he’s in a natty three-piece suit, tie and newsboy cap. Yinsen knows how to get down, y’all.

Scott: Yinsen has a feeling this indefinite imprisonment might somehow turn into a job interview. Yinsen wants to go out in style

So what it APPEARS, although the truth is slightly different, is that the terrorists have deliberately kidnapped Tony and want him to build them a bunch of Jericho bombs. In a CAVE. With a BOX OF SCRAPS.

James: It’s a super dumb plan!

Scott: Yeah it is!

James: I mean, it’s a plan whose literal first step is exploding a bomb three feet from Tony. The Ten Rings are not good at planning.

Scott: Keep in mind, when that bomb went off they didn’t know they were getting Tony. They thought they were getting, uh… some guy? Hank Pym maybe?

James: I guess we WILL discover that they WERE trying to kill him, but jeez. I’m not sure what’s dumber: giving him a lab, scraps and instructions to build the most refined weapon in existence, or that they see him working on an exoskeleton leg joint and don’t

Scott: I go with the second. They have a bunch of cameras, and SEE HIM TRYING THE SHIT ON, but never think “That’s not a bomb.”

James: The leader of the Ten Rings momentarily gets suspicious and threatens to kill Yinsen, but then gets easily swayed by Tony’s weak-ass “I need him!” argument and go back to leaving him unsupervised, with instructions to build a complete missile in a cave in 24 hours. Tony literally puts a helmet on a table directly in front of the camera! Get your shit together, terrorists. You can’t just be fodder and comedic relief.

Scott: To a certain degree, I’ve always liked the presentation of the building of the MkI suit. It’s insane that that’s Tony’s first thought about how to get out of this situation, but the movie is ABSOLUTELY NOT EMBARRASSED about plunging full forge ahead with this comic book origin. It becomes weirdly believable because the movie doesn’t bat an eyelash

James: Yeah, I’m way more willing to suspend any disbelief about that being Tony’s first choice than I am at the scourge of a region being a bunch of complete and utter dummies. Especially since they were clearly being hinted as having ties to the Mandarin, Tony’s greatest nemesis and owner of ten rings. It’s all comic book-y, but the latter could have been massaged a LITTLE more. But I am down for goofiness!

Scott: The terrorists come across as after-thoughts, especially in every scene concerning them after Tony’s escape. At the heart of this (ahem) is the design of the arc reactor, which, again, provides near-limitless power just to keep shrapnel away from Tony’s heart. And it was built IACWABOS. The movie ends up doing a good job keeping the spotlight and not TOTALLY forgetting this world-changing technology which is about 10000x as impressive as the suit it is powering.

James: One of the interesting bits of script in the movie is that Tony builds himself an arc reactor for his chest, says it can power “something really big for about fifteen minutes,” and then never uses it to power a suit for longer than fifteen minutes. The first fifteen, of course, being his escape, during which he powers up the suit, Yinsen buys him time by being a tragic distraction, and there is some A plus comedy direction from Favreau. That’s one of the key strengths of the movie, I think; the comedy would become a defining factor in the MCU, and they launched it all with Jon Favreau, a guy who’s a small-scale comedy director first and foremost.

Scott: Absolutely. When people were going on about how funny GOTG was, I thought yes, it IS funny, but every single Marvel movie has a good dose of comedy. The first Thor is a damn riot, actually.

James: Oh, we will GET to my opinions about how the THOR movies are criminally underrated. But whether it’s the back-and-forth shots of terrorists cowering exaggeratedly as Tony pounds the door, or one of them shooting Tony’s helmet and getting killed by the ricochet, Favreau does a great job showing physical comedy visually with his timing and shot selection.

Scott: There’s not a false note in this thing, and again it doesn’t have to wink much at the audience for laughs. They come from inside the situation. Favreau’s tone is completely assured in this.

James: The action is competent enough, the comedy is stellar. And that’s what built the MCU, frankly. And Favreau also has a good sense of small details, like the leather coat Tony puts on to keep the iron exosuit from chafing, the manual switch for the rockets as he escapes the exploding terrorist camp, or the fact that I’m PREEEETTY sure that the Ten Rings flag in the background of Tony’s ransom video is reused 8 years later for the Mandarin’s video packages in IRON MAN 3.

Scott: Oh dip if that turns out to be true I will high five Shane Black and anyone else who requires it.

James: Tune in in 6 weeks for that one, kids!

Scott: So once Tony gets picked up by Rhodey himself, and makes it back to the States for a BK run, he delivers this press conference where he basically says “meh to bombs I guess.”

James: But yes: Tony gets his first glimpse of personal growth through Yinsen’s encouragement, shows off his crazy technological skill - something that is far more impressive than a fake Wired cover - blows up the terrorists and gets rescued by Rhodey. He arrives back in the good ol’ US of A to the relief of a clearly emotional Pepper (she hates applying for new jobs), shrugs off the idea that he’s traumatized and gives a press conference where he swears off making weapons forever. That goes well. He also blows off a one Agent Phil Coulson, of some government agency that I can’t remember if I remembered was SHIELD at the time.

Scott: That “Applying for new jobs” line was A+ writing. Tells you everything about Pepper and her relationship to Tony in subtext.

James: Absolutely. Their relationship is so lived-in right from the start.

Scott: The scene that comes a little after that, where Pepper has to remove the original arc reactor, is one of my favourites in the movie.

James: But before that, we get a bit more detail of another well-lived-in relationship: Tony’s relationship with Obadiah, a guy who’s clearly smart but who’s a little TOO jolly to always be the guy who cleans up after Tony, whether it’s accepting his awards or smoothing over his disastrous press conferences. He clearly has his own ego, as evidenced by the fact that he rolls up to Tony and the BIG arc reactor on a Segway while chomping on a cigar. That’s about as 2008-corporate-villain as it gets.

Scott: The BIG reactor fascinates me. What is it for? “To shut hippies up.” Does it work? Does it work even a fraction as well as the one in Tony’s chest, which it should be several times better than? Is it powering anything? I can’t remember if it’s said beyond the idea of it as a publicity stunt.

James: He tells Yinsen that it powers his entire factory and office building, so it’s clearly effective, and Obie’s dialogue about hippies establishes that they kind of just fired it off and never revisited it. After all, for all the intellicrops, they were interested in making money, and that was, as Tony puts it in his press conference, things that blow up.

Scott: I guess if one big reactor ONLY powers a building, it’s not that practical except as a curiosity, and probably prohibitively expensive, even if it can be recreated in miniature, cave-style with box-scraps.

James: Tony wants to re-open work into it now, since he’s had a change of heart, but Obie is more concerned with the one in Tony’s chest… for reasons.

Scott: Tony, meanwhile, has his own project in mind.

James: Tony doesn’t want to share, though. His instincts are to play it close to the chest (www.instantcsi.com), and he sets about upgrading his personal arc reactor in, as you said, a genuinely amazing scene of humour and vulnerability.

Scott: It’s great. The banter feels real and it wouldn’t surprise me if it was unscripted.

James: “I don’t have anyone else,” Tony tells Pepper, baring his soul as she puts him in cardiac arrest by losing the most high stakes game of Operation ever.

Scott: RDJ plays Tony there as feeling vulnerable and trying to snark his way out of it with the one person who calls him on his shit (well, her and Rhodey.) Honestly, I’m not sure there ever was such a nuanced superhero performance before this, and there maybe hasn’t been since.

James: I think Chris Evans as Captain America gives it a run for its money, but we’ll get to that in a few weeks.

Scott: True!

James: But yes, Pepper gives Tony nuance, and the fact that such a vulnerable scene is also one of the funniest ones in the movie? Great stuff. As Tony moves on from his cave scraps, though, the Ten Rings are combing the desert for his suit, discovering his helmet as their leader looks on, refusing to put a bandage over his open wound (inflicted by Tony) to keep it from being sandblasted. It’s 7 years later and I still cringe every time I see that shot.

Scott: On the plus side, at least he’s wearing Max Headroom’s shades.

James: I hope he has ointment.

The movie’s next scene, where Tony visits Rhodey to fruitlessly get him to check out this cool project of his, wink wink, is notable for two things:

1) Tony’s awful transphobic joke about Rhodey’s spring break “mistake” of hooking up with a trans woman;

2) Rhodey being the first person to invoke the idea of Tony suffering from PTSD, a topic this movie mostly tries to brush off but will be picked up in IRON MAN 3.

Scott: The idea of Tony having PTSD has always struck me, and I was happy when they played it up in IM3. Here’s Tony, this incredibly intelligent, self-assured guy, being betrayed by his own psyche in an all too realistic way that he might have assumed he was somehow beyond. But in this case, I don’t think designing Terrorist-Murdersuits is a classic manifestation of PTSD. But Rhodey doesn’t know that.

James: I mean, sudden violence IS a symptom, but yeah, Tony hasn’t murdered any more terrorists yet - he hasn’t even realized the repulsor beam can be used as a weapon yet - and Rhodey’s concern, like everybody’s in this movie, is played pretty much as a rumour of Obie’s ultimate creation.

Scott: I do like Obie’s two-faced approach coming out of the press conference.

James: Tony is starting to design an updated suit when Obadiah shows up, professing innocence, sharing news that the Stark Industries board has locked Tony out, citing concerns of PTSD and instability. This will become more important later, but for the time being, the movie is far more interested in the comedy stylings of Tony and his robots building a new armoured suit. This is another one of those brilliant comedy scenes that the movie is bursting with.

Scott: This scene was pretty much the lifeblood of the movie. Like, the heart at the center of it, not just a throwaway montage.

James: It’s got the A Plus Favreau comedy directing that we talked about earlier, but equally importantly, it shows Tony as someone who’s fallible. He fucks up over the process of designing his suit. He breaks windows, smashes his cars. Tony’s value as a hero is his ingenuity, and his ability to improvise after setbacks and failures is what defines him.

[Scott: Again, a great showcase for Tony’s ingenuity, personal quirks AND the movie’s humour. His first move is to try 10% flight capacity and it ends up sending him flying into a wall in a bump that probably should have killed him. Wear a helmet, Tony!

James: This is the scene that first introduces - in a substantial way - the idea that Tony doesn’t just have cute fuck-ups. He messes up in ways that cause physical damage, to him and the things around him. It sets up almost the totality of the plots of the two sequels.

It’s impossible to overstate how important this “funny” scene is. If Tony doesn’t mess up, his cockiness is paradoxically unearned. He’s not cocky because he’s perfect, but because he knows he can think his way out of any problem. For example, I *LOVE* that even when he’s built his suit and is celebrating by taking it out for a spin, he still scuffs the wall of his garage on the way out.

Scott: Again, it’s really well-directed by Favreau, it appears as these inoccuous comedy beats when it’s really examiningthe heart of Tony as a character. Not to mention it looks great. When he finally gets the flight stabilizers working and drifts over his collection of cars, the effects and the acting give this wobbly look of someone who’s tried a skateboard for the first time.

James: But he takes it out on the town anyway, and we get another hilarious pratfall in the form of Tony’s suit freezing up mid-celebration as he falls back to Earth, another good detail (the suit has a manual crank to test all the flaps) and a great bit of introduction of a technological issue that will become very important in the climax of the movie.

Scott: That icing problem is a great bit. Oddly enough I remembered it as being how Obie was defeated, but it’s not by a long shot, it’s just one bit of their fight.

James: I did, too! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. First, Tony gets home, puts on an ice pack, sees that Pepper has framed his old chest reactor as “PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART,” and then notices that he’s apparently putting on a big party that he somehow didn’t invite himself to.

Scott: That gift from Pepper was ADORBS as is the whole scene with them at the party. Especially her musing about how she forgot to wear deodorant to a black tie gala.

James: Yeah, that’s one of two key bits at the party. Their flirtation is really natural and well-earned, even this early into the movie. Their relationship is so comfy already that it shockingly doesn’t feel rushed to me that they’re going from zero to near-kiss.

Scott: And in a classic bit of romance writing, there are several hints that Pepper is different for Tony than, say, Leslie Bibb.

James: Both of these assured characters seem so awkward around each other once they realize that they’re crossing that line, and it’s HILARIOUS.

And speaking of Leslie Bibb, she shows up to castigate Tony over footage that shows terrorists blowing up a village with his weapons. Since he doesn’t know anything about it, Tony confronts Obie, and Obie all but admits to double dealing and war profiteering, and DEFINITELY admits to personally being responsible for locking Tony out of his own company. After all, Tony’s “bedridden” with PTSD, supposedly, and he’s endangering the side-business that Obie’s been running. In addition to being Obie’s heel turn, it also deepens his relationship with Tony; realistically, double dealing is something Tony probably would have noticed if he was actually interested in running the company, something Obie has been doing for years, and feeling unappreciated for.

Scott: The storytelling in this movie is TIGHT and economical and yet never rushed somehow.

James: And this is the point where the movie really kicks into its highest gear, as Tony remembers how destructive the repulsor beam can be and flies off to the Middle East to get revenge on some terrorists. And honestly, this is a scene I have a bit of trouble with. The movie has made a big deal out of Tony’s change of heart and how the repulsor is “accidentally” a weapon, but like 99% of the people he murders are killed with missiles that are also in the suit.

Scott: And its insane sci-fi targeting system. This is sort of the scene that sums up what Hollywood thinks of superheroes: They kill, but TOTALLY ALWAYS the right people.

James: And it also introduces a problem that the Marvel movies, as well as superhero movies in general, have: they have a nasty habit of showing superheroes who kill people a LOT, something the source material explicitly avoids in general, but which is a stalwart of action movies. It’s played as being righteous, but it’s bookended with a scene where the US military accidentally goes after Tony, and he shows that he’s 100% able to diffuse the situation without anyone dying. Save the good guys (even when they’re gonna kill you), kill the bad guys. It honestly makes me a little uncomfortable, and this is something that I’m gonna mention a few times in this rewatch series, especially in our discussions of AVENGERS and CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER

As much as this movie gets right - and I am a guy currently drinking water out of a collectible 7-Eleven Iron Man Slurpee collectible cup, part of a complete set - that’s something I’ve come to think it gets wrong.

Scott: It’s a clash between the two influences, and you and I side towards the ideal held by comics rather than the disposable view of human life taken by most action movies. We happen to be discussing this on the day I’ve read the finale to Spider-Verse, where Peter Parker comes up with a shockingly workable solution to the insatiable Inheritor villains.

James: I think other Marvel movies like THOR and the first CAPTAIN AMERICA tackle that issue a little better by playing in the war and fantasy genres, but in IRON MAN the script is *constantly* talking about how Tony isn’t going to profit off death anymore. They use those exact words. Having him revenge killing people in the literal next scene is a lot of whiplash. Especially when the next scene talks about how the Iron Man suit is “a masterpiece of death,” as the viewers learn that Obadiah is the one who hired the Ten Rings to kill Tony, and that their “ransom” message wasn’t to the media, but directly to Obie, as they decide to take advantage of failing to kill the smartest man alive. But with that, Obadiah is fully realized as the movie’s villain, Tony is finally Iron Man and the movie enters its third act.

Scott: He pretty much disposes of the 10 Rings himself (certainly this cell of them) and then goes to deliver a pretty badass monologue about Tony being the golden goose.

James: In between, there are also a pair of amazing scenes. First, Tony shows up back at home and Pepper’s first reaction is to gawk at all the bullet holes in his suit. She’s scared and he has to have a heart-to-heart with her about how he needs her to stick by him as he tries to make up for the wrong he’s done. If the movie is going to have Tony do some revenge killing, it at least follows it up with a heroic dialogue. It’s another of the great scenes that builds their relationship, and it re-establishes Tony as a hero after the dodgy scene beforehand. Pepper agrees to stick by Tony, which involves going to the office to do some snooping about whatever Obadiah is up to

Scott: I did always feel that this was slightly just to give Paltrow a bit more to do, but it plays very tensely and ultimately adds to the film.

James: Yeah, since it comes right after Obadiah has been revealed as the villain, it builds his menace. It’s got good emotion, even if it’s mostly there to add to Paltrow’s scenes. Even if Pepper really doesn’t need to steal the files, since the lock screen for Sector 16 shows the damn mech suit Obie is building. She has a camera phone, she could have just taken a picture of the screen and not tipped off Obadiah, who immediately runs off to finish his suit after putting on a black shirt (he’s a villain!), steal Tony’s chest reactor and gloat over Tony being the Golden Goose. Use your head, Pepper!

Scott: The famous Pepper Potts indeed.

James: That ultimately ends up being the purpose of the Pepper-stealing-files scene, since Tony never actually uses the files: it pushes Obie to basically just start attempted murdering people. Which gives us a great shot in the movie: Tony’s robot saving his life, in a really sweet, emotive way.

Scott: The way the “Proof That Tony Stark Has a Heart” comes back is great, especially since Tony’s stated intention was to throw it out because he’s not nostalgic. Also Stane steals Tony’s arc reactor with a conveniently arc-reactor shaped removing device that I hope they also patented.

James: I assume he had it fabricated after he got a good up-and-close look at the reactor, and just… uh… has a really good memory. Either way, Pepper and the robot save Tony’s life, and the movie shows that Tony can’t do it alone. Spoiler alert: that’s the plot of IRON MAN 2, IRON MAN 3 and THE AVENGERS.

Meanwhile, Pepper has run into Agent Coulson, who was there for his meeting with Tony, and they end up bringing a team back to arrest Obadiah, not planning on his Iron Monger suit being super massive and in a dark room full of superfluous chains.

Scott: Superfluous Chains is the name of my hip hop group. We’re terrible.

The elements are now all in place for the climactic battle scene, with Tony’s slick armour being powered by a faulty reactor against the giant ass mech piloted by Stane, with Pepper and Rhodey even getting involved.

James: With Pepper capable but in danger, and Tony powering his Iron Man suit with an old reactor that only gives him 15 minutes of juice, the movie’s climactic fight scene begins. Iron Man vs Iron Monger, a name Obadiah is never once called.

Scott: Although Rhodey’s “Next time, baby” is just sad as delivered by Terrence Howard, who would sadly get no next time.

James: I was literally just typing that! Honestly, I like him a little more as James Rhodes, as much as I like Dorky Don Cheadle wearing polo shirts

Scott: Stane DOES refer to himself and Tony as Iron Mongers, a phrase I am not sure actually exists in the world. Gad, but comic movies are weird about codenames.

James: Oh, Obie definitely calls them iron mongers (an antiquated term I actually have heard used elsewhere), but, like, I have two 7-Eleven Slurpee cups that say “Iron Monger” on them, and it’s weird that he never actually gets called that. Hell, Tony isn’t even called Iron Man until after the fight is over!

But as for the fight, it’s interesting. I like that they show Tony explicitly saving civilians, even if they’re a little too on-the-nose by having Iron Monger refer to it as “collateral damage.” I also like that it involves an intellectual battle; Tony has like 5 minutes of power left, and he can’t actually deal with the harder punches of Stane’s bigger suit, so he has to think his way through it. He buys some time by taking advantage that, for all of his bluster about being smarter and having a better suit than Tony (which is weird, because we got a scene all about how nobody’s as smart as Tony when it comes to the suit), Stane never fixed the frosting problem. And then he has Pepper blow up the big arc reactor, beating Iron Monger with teamwork and smarts as opposed to punches.

Scott: It follows classic pro wrestling structure: Tony shows good at the beginning, gets pounded for most of it, takes a few advantages and then manages to pull out a last-minute win! Albeit with interference…

James: It is INCREDIBLY funny that after Tony blows out the Iron Monger’s targeting suite, that Stane misses hitting Tony, who is like ten feet away from him, by about 20 feet. It’s adorably incompetent.

Scott: Stane also tells Tony to hold still, while Tony is dangling for his life.

James: High. Larious.

Scott: One thing we haven’t mentioned, which is totally vital to the Iron Man films, is the in-helmet interface: extreme closeups of RDJ’s face surrounded by infographics and HUD data andwhatnots manage to keep him in the scene while we’re seeing, effectively, two CGI-generated cyborgs punching and throwing cars at each other. I think that was an invention of the movie because it was never needed for comics: you knew when you were looking at Iron Man you were looking at Iron Man and he was talking when the speech balloons point to him.

James: It’s one of my favourite effects in the movie, partly because it HAS to have been claustrophobic for RDJ to shoot it, and also because when Tony gets beaten around, the fake glass HUD gets giant cracks all over it. I don’t know if it was an invention of the movie or the comics, but I dig it.

Scott: But conversely, when they’re in the suit, the guys are given this strangely deepened voice that is oddly not mocked the way Batman or Bane was.

James: With that, though, we’re pretty much at the end of the movie! Iron Monger falls to his exploding death, Tony’s chest reactor flickers back to life, and at a press conference the next day, Tony can’t resist the urge to blow his SHIELD-crafted cover story by indulging his ego and admitting he’s Iron Man. Cue “Iron Man” the song, because get it!

Scott: This scene is the only time in the movie Favreau feels the need to wink at the audience - the bodyguard cover being Tony’s cover for many years - but by the end of all of it, it feels pretty well-earned. Plus we get more Phil, the breakout star of the Marvel Universe despite being kind of a stick in the mud in every single early appearance.

James: I liked the winking when I first watched the movie, but now I actually kind of dislike how it makes fun of the comics. But I don’t really have strong opinions on it!

Before we wrap up the discussion with our final thoughts, though, there’s one of the now-famous Marvel post-credit scenes, where Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, shows up to hint at something called the Avenger Initiative. Which is probably just some dumb bowling league.

Scott: Sounds like a weekend youth program to pick up garbage at the roadside

James: I would watch that movie.

Scott: Anyway, yes, the strong hint (you don’t hire Samuel L. if you don’t mean business) that they were going full speed ahead with the shared universe. And while I will always say I was 100% on board with the Downey casting, I was totally skeptical that they could pull off a shared universe. It seemed logistically impossible, but hey, I’m not in The Biz.

James: So what are your final thoughts for the movie, Scott? Does IRON MAN hold up?

Scott: It does, on the strength of its storytelling, humour and cast. The action and plot twists are a bit boilerplate, even at the time it was made, but it works so well because it is a high budget action movie in superhero skin, a good way to ease into the full on kitchen sink insanity of the Marvel U. It does also come off as a bit of a right wing fantasy: that a lone public citizen can do what’s best, root out corruption from his own company, and invent the machine that saves the world and kills all the terrorists. But that was the deal going in, part of the Iron Man package.

James: There are definitely a couple sexist or transphobic jokes that are unacceptable, and we talked a LOT about the problems with the hero killing a lot in a movie all about how he’s not gonna cause death anymore, but I agree: the movie holds up on the strength of its casting and its humour. Marvel owes a LOT of debt to Jon Favreau for defining their visual style, and how comedic it is. Before IRON MAN, the idea of a shared Marvel Cinematic Universe seemed like a crazy dream, and looking back, after IRON MAN, the fundamental pieces are all there.

Scott: And they pulled it off - not without some growing pains, which we’ll discuss next time - but with this film’s wholly deserved success, they were off to the races.

James: It remains the only Marvel movie I’ve actually bought! I mean, I’ll buy some of the other ones, but so far, just IRON MAN.

And with that, we leave you until next week, when we go from discussing a movie I’ve seen like ten times to a movie I haven’t actually watched since the theatre: THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

Scott: WHEN IT COMES CRASHING DOWN AND IT HURTS INSIDE

I AM A REAL AMERICAN

FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS FIGHT FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIFE

James: Oh lord.

[Check back on Thursday for the next instalment in the series, as we audibly sigh through The Incredible Hulk!]