Welcome, dear readers, to our regular letter column; a series of missives from and to the internet, delivered by a series of tubes. We welcome your comments and questions. About anything! We’ll answer it, and at least one of us will take you seriously. Maybe.
You can ask questions about comics. You can ask questions about things that aren’t comics. I think I established in the last round of questions that no one reads this section. Or at least cares to comment on it. Which is fine. How’s your mother doing? Is she well/dead/dying? I’m sorry to hear that. Carry on.
Thank you, internet.
Sarah Leask (@sjleask) asks: Who is your favourite animated dinosaur and why?
Brandon: The flippant answer? Denver, the last dinosaur. Because he’s my friend, and a whole lot more.
The honest answer? Littlefoot from the first Land Before Time Movie. Maybe the other ones, but man, I just… they sure let that one get away from them, didn’t they? Anyway, he was awesome. He was smart, brave, and he was tall and had a long neck, and I… identified with that, what with being freakishly tall my entire childhood. Littlefoot is probably my spirit dinosaur.
James: The best part about Brandon being a dinosaur is that soon he’ll be extinct.
My favourite is Dino from The Flintstones because he’s cute and friendly and is always knocking over Fred. Fred is a jerk most of the time so I’m okay with seeing him knocked over. Dino is basically a dog and I like dogs a whole lot. I wish I was cuddling a dog right now, flopping its ears back and forth and asking it WHO IS A GOOD GIRL YOU ARE YES YOU ARE and coming up with new, increasingly ridiculous nicknames for it. This is basically what I always wish I was doing. So, yeah, Dino.
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Sarah Leask (@sjleask) continues: Rock, paper or scissors?
Brandon: Rock. Rock smashes scissors, and rock rips through paper. This was a thing I believed back when my cousins taught me the game when I was five. I was told that rock beat everything, and that I wasn’t allowed to choose rock. It was not a very fun game.
James: I’m gonna go with paper because apparently it’s gonna be really easy to beat Brandon.
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Sarah Leask (@sjleask) concludes: Bears, beets, or Battlestar Galactica?
Brandon: For pun purposes? Bears. I think driving past a flooring company that promised to take care of your “bear floors” was what awakened that particular love inside of me. For eating purposes, also bears. Preferably one that you’ve killed with your BEAR HANDS AAARRRRRRR! (Swipes ferociously). And finally, for viewing purposes, also bears. Bears also look adorable in clothes, usually. Bears are the greatest. Just look at them.
James: I am more or less okay with bears in theory, namely because I don’t really see them in their habitats. They seem cool! But maybe one would try to eat me. I just don’t know. I just don’t know. Comparatively, I definitely know about Battlestar Galactica. In short, I like it a lot. I even liked the final season and finale, though I’ll 100% agree it was probably the worst part of the entire series, hands down. But the weird thing is, I almost never actually go back and watch my DVDs of it! I’m a big fan of the show (though not enough to start using the word “frak” in actual conversations, which is something nobody should do), but I finished watching it and I haven’t really had a super strong urge to rewatch it since it ended. Maybe I didn’t like the finale as much as I thought.
And that leaves us with beets. Ah,wonderful, perfect beets. Earthy, sweet, beautiful. Superb pickled. Crisp and surprising when raw. Perfect when roasted. I could eat them forever, and fully plan to.
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Scott Williams (@scottowilliams) asks: What’s a good example of a remake being better than the original? What about an adaptation making improvements?
Brandon: That’s a tough one. James will probably be able to clarify this, because he actually remembers things on the regular, but I think it was Roger Ebert who always asked why bad movies weren’t remade. There are a lot of great concepts out there encased in bad movies - wouldn’t it be great if some of them were redone? As for remakes being better than the original, nothing is coming to mind, at all. You know, the Glee-esque cover Jimmy Fallon did of “Born to Run” during that one Emmy’s was a vast improvement of the original in all ways, shapes and forms. Suck it, “The Boss”.
As for adaptations, while I wouldn’t outright call it “improved”, I would point to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World as a fantastic adaptation of the comic series, which adapted the graphic novel series brilliantly, working with the strengths of the movie medium to make something different. Others would say it’s a vast improvement of the graphic novels, because it cuts off all the fat, and… whatever. From a brevity standpoint, they are correct, but one of the things I loved about those books was the fact that I got to hang out with these people, even if parts of the story didn’t really apply to the main thrust of the thing, you know? It was nice spending time with those horrible, horrible people.
James: The first thing I think of when I think of “good remakes” is The Magnificent Seven, which is very famously a remake of Akira Kurosawa’s classic Seven Samurai. Of course, the original arguably the greatest movie of all time, so no matter how good the American version is, the original is still, you know, the actual literal best.
But that got me thinking about the fine tradition of western remakes - either of other westerns or adaptations from another genre/language - being legitimately great. Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars is one of the greatest westerns ever and it’s another Kurosawa adaptation, this time of Yojimbo. And while it’s not definitively greater than the original (because, again, Kurosawa), it’s certainly arguable. There have also been some recent remakes (or re-adaptations) that I think beat their originals. James Mangold’s 3:10 to Yuma in 2007 was shockingly good, and kept a lot of the icy tension of the Delmer Daves original while somehow translating the sharp black and white cinematography to really saturated warm colours of the desert. I think that helps the remake carry a little bit more warmth and give the final act a little more heart. And, finally, in a move that will surprise nobody who has heard me rave about the Coen Brothers before, but I think their version of True Grit is infinitely superior to Henry Hathaway’s first adaptation of the novel, largely due to the fact that John Wayne, while he would win his only Oscar for playing Rooster Cogburn, always seems to be playing John Wayne playing Rooster, whereas Jeff Bridges actually disappears into the role. Similarly, Hailee Steinfeld, in the lead role of Mattie Ross, is just spectactular and Kim Darby can’t quite compare.
Oh, also, Hannibal is better than Red Dragon (and basically every Hannibal Lector movie ever anyway).
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Scott Williams (@scottowillaims) continues: Who would you most like to sit down to dinner with, Alan Moore or Rob Liefeld?
Brandon: Liefeld, unquestionably. I’m the kind of person who bleeds enthusiasm for this medium, and Liefeld is the same way. I recently did a listen to a podcast I had stopped listening to a long time ago (mostly due to the hosts and their tendency to talk about “dem titties” in between bouts of really insightful commentary on the medium) because The Rob was on, and the man is an unstoppable conversational force. Also, I want to hear a whole lot more of his Todd McFarlane impression, which is amazing.
That’s not to say that Moore wouldn’t be a fascinating subject to talk to, but I just feel like I would get a whole lot more out of a conversation with Rob. And that’s… that’s probably saying something.
James: Liefeld in a heartbeat. There are certainly things I disagree about him, but he’s weird and enthusiastic and genuine. I think he and I would have a lot of fun talking to each other. I can’t actually imagine talking to Grumpy Comics Grandpa Alan Moore(tm) being any fun. I might learn, sure. But I’m more or less just fine letting Moore do and say whatever and ignoring it myself.
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Erin E. Fraser (@erinefraser) asks: I’m looking for comics to buy a 16-year-old girl who likes anime.
Brandon: The thing that popped into my mind immediately was Umbrella Academy. I’m not exactly attuned to anime or anime stylings, but Umbrella Academy always struck me in the same way as some of my favourite, fun mangas did - something new and fresh, and just a little bit familiar. I think it’s a great series for anyone looking for a strange, larger than life way to experience the medium.
Another solid choice would be Street Angel, which is coming back to print in just a few short weeks here. I know you know what Street Angel is all about, but for those who don’t, the story follows the genre bending adventures of a young homeless girl who saves her neighbourhood and the world from ninjas and cthulhus and other various troublemakers. It’s pretty amazing.
James: That’s really hard for me to say, because I don’t really know much about anime or this girl in particular. I mean, when I think “anime” and “16 year-old girl” my mind immediately goes to Sailor Moon, and I think that kind of teen girl-led adventure book is best exemplified in comics currently being published by Lumberjanes and Ms. Marvel, which don’t really have an anime aesthetic but have that same “women aw heck yisssss” attitude. Ms. Marvel even benefits from having an aesthetic that’s very clearly different from most North American comics.
Other than that, I’d suggest Archaia’s adaptation of manga classic Cyborg 009, which is both good and a theoretical easy way in, since it’s so close to the Japanese original.
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That’s it for the one hundred and forty-eighth instalment of Um, Actually. Check in every Monday and Thursday for a brand new column. If you have anything you’d like answered, hit up our contact page! If you submit anything via Twitter – to @blogaboutcomics, @Leask, or @soupytoasterson – remember to include the hashtag #UMACTUALLY so that we don’t lose it. Remember: you can ask us anything. Seriously, anything.
