Ah, fanfics. The delight of college professors everywhere! Because the only thing better than my impeccably written story of Holmes/Watson love, “The Bulge in the Pocket,” is a fanfic written about TV’s greatest show in history, Everwood! The world Greg Berlanti created couldn’t be contained by just 89 episodes, and we here at E!TB have the hot, steaming truth, right here: the top 5 Everwood fanfics, which may or may not all have been conveniently written by Brandon and I under increasingly ridiculous noms de plume.

Check out these award-winning [Ed note: Possibly untrue] tales of love, friendship and zany antics, and just try telling us we wasted your time.

5. The Ferris Wheel, Part 3: The Embonering
by Gregory Smith

First, Amy and Ephram shared one of the series’ first truly romantic scenes on top of a ferris wheel as the series began. Then, they renewed their love in front of one as it ended. But what happened next?

Pull your head out of your ass. These are teenagers. We all know exactly what happened. But read this to find out all the brightly coloured details.

4. Bright, the Bright: Bright Squared
by Geoff “Wiggles” Danielssen

We all know Bright had trouble with his grades. But what we didn’t see was what happened at the library one day in Season 2 as he tried to bring his grades up to keep his parents from worrying as he studied with a cute tutor. We won’t ruin it for you, but let’s just say that some preconceptions were destroyed, some light flirting occurred, and there was a little a lot of honesty.

3. Rock of Love Bus
by Horace Cumberbatch

Listen, you didn’t think Irv just used his bus for driving kids around, didn’t you? He was married to Edna, and things got ca-raaaazy now and again. Just look at how disapproving Harold was of them for so much of the series. You didn’t think it was because of Harold’s father, did you? Grow up. It was because he saw what Irv and Edna did in the bus outside of school hours.

You’re welcome.

2. To Be Self Evident
by Tommy J. George

We got some great montages about Colin Hart’s surgery, particularly the first one in the Season 1 Episode “We Hold These Truths”. But what happened during those long hours? With the elephant in the other room under anesthetic, how will Amy and Ephram pass the time amidst all the heavy emotion and unspoken feelings? Probably not the way you’d think. A real tearjerker, so make sure your monogrammed handkerchiefs are freshly laundered.

1. Practice Makes Perfect
by Scott O. Williams

Andy and Harold were rivals, professional and personal. Then they were medical partners. Finally, they were friends. But did anything else happen? Sometimes, they’re in the office late doing paperwork. There’s a light on in the next office. Andy walks over to say hello to Harold and bring him some coffee. They start talking. Things get flirty. Then, they get honest. Finally, they get naked.

It probably never happened, but it definitely maybe happened. And that’s all we here at E!TB need. Have fun tonight, kids. Just put down a towel.