Missives from and to the internet, delivered by a series of tubes.

Welcome, dear readers, to our Thursday feature – a letter column of horrors culled from our inboxes. There will be things that are real and decidedly unreal – but hopefully allcontent presented here will be entertaining.

That said, WE ARE LOOKING FOR LETTERS! We are hiding in your bushes, metaphorical or otherwise. We crave your sweet correspondence. Contact us by clicking on that handy contact button right above the site banner to save yourself from our sweet lips on your power bills.

Letters might be edited for space, but not for intent.

Thank you, internet.

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First, an apology!  Last week, Andrew (@andrewhorton) sent in a question and due to Twitter’s horrible web search function, we accidentally missed it!  Well, never fear, Andrew!  We’re here for you.

Andrew asked: What’s the deal with CROSSOVER EVENTS (of the century, etc etc)? Good/bad/horrible? Do they sell (more) comics? 

James: Brandon, managing a comic shop, will be better able to answer this, but I’ll give a few of my thoughts first.  As to the good/bad/horrible question, that really all depends on the story, the creators involved, any editorial mandate and the readers themselves.  Civil War, Shadowland and Flashpoint weren’t always to my personal taste, for example, but I know a lot of people who did, and I actually liked the stories that followed Civil War and Shadowland especially.

As for whether they sell more comics (and whether they’re good/bad for the industry), I actually think a lot of “event fatigue” is reflected more in vocalizations than in actual sales.  For example, look at last month’s sales.  Crossovers and events took three of the top four spots on the sales estimate charts, including the top two.  Tie-ins took #9 and #10.  The other 6 spots were all New 52 titles.  For all the complaining I’ve heard about Avengers Vs. X-Men being just a pointless fight comic from a lot of fans, the reality is that it’s selling.  For all the comics media coverage and editorials that make it sound like the New 52 was this awful decision that will ruin the company forever, it got an Aquaman series to frequently land in the top 10 (or right outside it).

There may be problems with event comics – without doubt, it’s a much more complicated issue than I’ve presented here – but sales doesn’t seem to be one of them.

Brandon: Event comics absolutely move more books. That’s just a thing that happens. That said, they don’t move copies of regular ongoing books like they used to. Not even close.

When people talk about event fatigue, they’re not talking about the event books themselves – they’re talking tie ins. Which is why with the Avengers vs X-Men series, you’re not really seeing much overlap into titles that don’t have the Avengers or X-Men name specifically in the title. Was a time (I’m thinking of Civil War) that just slapping the banner on a book would move several more copies. It was like printing money. Lower tier books would always get the larger boost – hell, some of the books in our store more than doubled in sales when the Civial War banner would be placed upon it.

Now since that heyday, things have slowed down for tie-ins – most notably in the Fear Itself series. Tie-ins barely moved the needle here, because the only thing people were really interested in was what was going on in the main title. And understandably so. I’m going to go slightly off the rails here, but please, roll with me. It’s gonna come back around:

Comics right now are like British soaps. A while back, they figured out a way to bring eyeballs to the screens in huge quantity: death. Suddenly, long time characters were getting murdered and beaten and whatever by a character-gone-off-the-rails – and now they’re caught in a loop where the stakes need to be at a certain point to get people to care. And they need people to care in order to stay on the air. Much is the same with comics. Things have kept ramping up, and the idea butterflies are getting harder to catch with the honey sticks. What the superhero genre really needs right now, is a period of rest – but when Marvel tried that a little while back, they were treated with sales that bled out everywhere. So the solution? I dunno. It’s probably somewhere in what’s happening with the industry right now. More and more people are pushing out and reading more independent books. Actually, maybe that’s a reason why tie-in books don’t tend to do as well as they used to. Maybe that money is already spent on other books. Either way, the point is, crossover books sell and they sell well – but their ability to move the needle across the line has been greatly diminished. 

———-

Brittnee (@britl) asks: I start a new job next week, so I should probably update my Twitter bio.  You two are creative.  Any suggestions?

James: Brittany, it’s a good thing you came to us!  As it turns out, what we’re objectively the best at is summarizing people in 1-2 sentences, which means we’re well-suited to your request.  So I’m just going to toss out a few ideas, just freestylin’ it here:

• “Former Primitive Radio Goddess,” with a link to this video
• “I like Edmonton and unicorns and Batman, wanna fight about it?”
• “I’ve been downhearted baby, I’ve been downhearted baby, ever since the day we met”
• “Miss Edmonton New Media 2012″

Brandon: You should just go with quotes from various TGIF shows. For example:

• “How rude.“
• “Topanga.”
• “Did I do that?”
• “EVD!”
• “Check it out! I’ve got retractable wings! Come on. Feel it.”
• “Guess between the known and the unknown lies the Codeman.”
• “What are you, new?”

You’re welcome.

———-

Britishney continues: Due to an enchanted fortune cookie, you’re forced to live as each other for one week.  What would you do?

James: Good question, Brit!  Believe it or not, we actually haven’t spent any time discussing a potential Freaky Friday situation.  I’ll tell you what I’d do, though: I’d get Brandon fat.  Comically, morbidly obese.  Like, needs-a-Rascal-to-move-around fat.

Failing that, I would get him in trouble with the mob.

Brandon: I would fill James’ house with cats and Reagan paraphernalia. But I would not use his cast iron cookware. I would probably ruin that shit, and I don’t want to do that. I’m not a complete monster.

———-

Sarah (@SarahPaulsen1) says: It’s 9:30pm.

James: Is this a marijuana thing?

Brandon: This is probably refer madness. Or ocean madness. She might try to doink a mermaid. Or merman, if you wanna be heteronormative about it.

———-

Jay (@jayrunham) asks: SNES or Sega Genesis?

James: At the time?  I was all about the Sega Genesis, mostly because my best friend at the time had one and I just went along with his pointlessly inflammatory rhetoric.  As a result, I missed out on playing as much Super Mario World, F-Zero, Super Castlevania IV or The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, and I can’t even remember a single Sega-exclusive title that wasn’t Sonic the Hedgehog-related.  Perhaps belying my true inclination, I surreptitiously owned a full-colour guide to a bunch of SNES games, which I never showed to any of my friends out of a well-developed (I’m Scottish Metis) sense of shame.

Ultimately, however, none of these rivalries matters, as in the end we will all die alone.

Brandon: Cold and alone James. Also: SNES all the way. Because as you said, the only real thing I can remember from the Genesis would be the Sonic games… which were rad, but they ain’ nothin’ compared to the bombardment of SNES games I can remember loving.

———-

Jay continues: What powers did you get when you filled out this form?  How do you feel about your newfangled powers?

James: I got:

James Leask has learned to spin like a whirlwind, however never while thinking hard. Also, he developed the talent to deflect deafening sounds and he can become tiny. James Leask is protected from damage by a force field and he has been known to communicate with elves in any language. Shamefully, James Leask is notorious for being clumsy.

Apparently I am the Tasmanian Devil if he read a lot of Tolkien, which I suppose could be worse.  I could read a lot of Orson Scott Card.

Brandon:

“Brandon Schatz rides a magnificent sport-utility vehicle into battle, but can only do so eight times a day. He is able to steal any one power of his combatants and use it against them and he is able to leap to any point in the universe using an extraordinary police call box. Brandon Schatz possesses the power to deflect bullets, however only when scared. He likewise has mastered the ability to take control of skeletons and he can scan the memories of others. Sadly, Brandon Schatz has a weakness of being confused.”

The thing is, I do have the weakness of being confused, and I can control skeletons. But probably the thing that amuses me the most is the fact that I apparently have a TARDIS, which is just fine with me. It’s a well documented fact that I met my wonderful girlfriend at a Doctor Who finale party thrown by James while dressed at the Eleventh Doctor. So there’s that.

Oh and for shits and giggles, I put Orson Scott Card through the generator and listed him as a lady to see what would happen.

“Orson Scott Card is able to become tiny. Sadly, Orson Scott Card becomes night-blind in the presence of fluid.”

I believe this to be accurate.

———-

Ryan (@bakpakit) asks: If you could bring back any TV show for one more season, which would it be and why?

James: Heil Honey I’m Home.

Brandon: Agreed. But also, Clone High.

———-

Josh (@joshbazin) asks Brandon, because James can go fuck himself, I guess: what else do people need to know about this book (Winter Soldier)?

James: It’s a spy story with Doctor Doom (the most versatile villain in comics) and gun-toting gorillas.  That’s all you need to know.

Brandon: THE MAIN CHARACTER ALSO HAS A ROBOT ARM OH COMICS WE LOVE YOU.

———-

And with that, it’s time for another SCOTT WILLIAMS LIGHTNING ROUND!

Scott (@scottowilliams) opens with: Why is it okay to eat a talking animal, but not a human?

James: Two words: “Thanks, Obama.”

Brandon: I follow the general rule of “if it’s people, don’t eat it, but if it just thinks it’s people, you can eat it”. Which is why I no longer have a cat, and will never have children.

What.

Scott continues: I love sausages.  How are they made?

James: In Canada, most sausage actually starts with a mini-sausage party known as the Privy Council Office, where the general contents of the sausage are determined by a cabinet policy committee (and approval is obtained from the Department of Justice to begin writing down the recipe), resulting in a Memorandum to Cabinet and a Committee report; the latter must be ratified by the whole cabinet, at which point the sausage recipe will be drafted by the Department of Justice in both official languages.  Afterward, the Government House Leader will seek a delegated authority from Cabinet to prepare the recipe for introduction in Parliament (usually the House of Commons).  If the sausage will cost money to make instead of just using what you’ve got around, it requires a Royal Recommendation which will be affixed to the sausage recipe.  Pursuant to Standing Order 54 of the House of Commons, the recipe will be introduced to the Clerk of the House of Commons and added to the Order Paper.  Now the sausage is ready to be made!

At this point, the sausage recipe is introduced to the House at First Reading and its general nature is debated as Second Reading.  At this point, the recipe is sent to a committee (to be analyzed ingredient-by-ingredient and instruction-by-instruction), who reports back to the House, who can propose amendments at the report stage.  The recipe and any amendments for Third Reading are debated, and the House votes on the recipe, usually along party lines, unless the addition of a particularly controversial ingredient, like saskatoon berries, requires a (theoretically) nonpartisan confidence vote, which just lets the people who think that berries shouldn’t try to get rights that meat has to say as much without the party whip making them shame eat the whole thing.

After this, that whole House process is repeated with the Senate, though they’re not really big on sausage and usually just pass the recipe right through without much real consideration, which seems kind of lazy.

Finally, after the recipe has been voted on and approved by both legislative bodies, it goes to the Governor General for Royal Assent.  The Governor General* then grinds the meat, mixes it with the other ingredients (I’m partial to fennel seed and apple for pork sausage) and then uses a sausage stuffer to insert it into its casings before packaging and distribution to your local grocery store.  And that’s how sausage goes from the farm to your plate!

*the Queen’s representative in Canada, since she’s making her own sausage in the United Kingdom)

Brandon: First, you skin the cat. Note: that is not a metaphor. The rest is similar to what James described above.

Scott goes on: What is the worst?  The best?

James: The best is Bruce Springsteen, the worst is John Cougar Mellencamp.

Brandon: The best is intentionally confusing Bruce Springsteen with John Cougar Mellencamp in James’ company. The worst is when he whispers the lyrics to Glory Days into your ears as the light leaves your eyes. Because he’s choking you to death.

Scott can’t get enough: Why can’t I stop sweating?

James: As previously established, you have AIDS.

Brandon: It is your unending punishment for being Sex Hitler.

Scott fights his AIDS long enough to ask: What are some examples of minorities – or people of different nationalities – being presented exceptionally well in comics?

James: Well, you see, because of your untreatable AIDS oh wait, what?  Huh.

Batwoman is a pretty great example of positive representation of LGBTQ individuals (as was Morning Glories #18 last week).  I hear Love and Rockets is pretty amazing for that, too.  For my admittedly biased money, the best example of a racial/ethnic minority being presented  in comics recently was Batman Incorporated #7 and the characters of Man-of-Bats and Raven Red, because of how maturely and intelligently Morrison and Burnham refused to present aboriginal people in an oversimplified way.  For the record, I haven’t read Scalped.

Brandon: Scalped is an amazing book in this regard. Some paint it as racist for depicting crime on a reservation, but a cursory read of the material will show that the criminal aspects have nothing to do with the characters and setting, and everything to do with the genre of story telling. What the setting offers to the tale is a certain set of customs and beliefs that are often shown to be redemptive and sacred – a way to salvage what circumstance has destroyed. It really is an amazing piece of work.

Scott fever dreams: How does Matt Fraction smell?

James: Probably like a dude with two kids (jasmine and honeysuckle).

Brandon: Science.

———-

That’s it for the eighth installment of Um, Actually!  Check in every Thursday for a new batch of questions.  If you have anything you’d like answered, hit up our Contact page!  If you submit anything via Twitter – to @blogaboutcomics, @leask or @soupytoasterson - remember to include the hashtag #UMACTUALLY so that we don’t lose it.  Remember: you can ask us anything.

FANTASTIC FOUR #605.1 (Marvel Comics)

By Jonathan Hickman, Mike Choi, Cris Peter, and VC’s Clayton Cowles

Synopsis: Join Reed Richards and the gang as they attempt to conquer space for the Führer!

01. He wanted to tell the story of a Fantastic Four that was formed (or informed) by Hitler. I remember that much. But where he said it and why… that’s escaping my. But rest assured, Jonathan Hickman has wanted to tell the story presented in the pages of this comic for quite some time. The brief editorial note in the letter pages confirms this for me, which is lucky. Otherwise I would start checking for signs of the dementia. You know, more than I usually do.

02. Reed’s opening bit of dialogue sets the tone. “Hold steady, Mister Grimm. We are the sharp point — the very start — of the Führer’s One Thousand Year Plan.”

Simultaneously intriguing and chilling. That feeling doesn’t leave you through out the entire book. As familiar events are represented, the circumstances continually twist in ways that are at first glance surprising, and in hind sight, expected. Of course that is how Reed would react to Doom. Of course that’s how Reed would choose to save the world. Of course these are things that make sense.

03. When exactly did it become a bad thing to tell stories like this? I would honestly like to know. I understand the logic of placing this in it’s own bubble of sorts. Using the “Point One” numbering to cut around the other stories Hickman is telling is quite a clever use of the device. But it seems like in the past, this idea met a bit of resistance – a little from Hickman trying to find a place to fit it in and a little from Marvel because… well, it’s a story about Nazi Scientist Reed Richards. And I don’t completely understand it.

There’s the fear, of course, that a person will read this and potentially get confused. There’s a nod to that effect when the editorial in the back says that “we expect Marvel readers to be bright enough to be able to keep up” in terms of following the why of the story. But really, would it be so bad if this was someone’s first experience of the Fantastic Four? A person who reads this is guaranteed to ask about the team. They’re going to want to know more. And with the right push, the right guidance, that right there, that is how you start someone down the road to fandom. It’s really easy. Give people a challenge. They’re rise up to it, as long as someone is there to ensure that they’ll be okay – that they aren’t shoved right into the deep end of continuity without anything to keep them afloat.

04. After wrapping up his big mega arc, Hickman has been showing quite an aptitude for bite sized adventures – one that I am all but certain will amount to something at the end, but even if they don’t they are intriguing and amusing, and some of the best stories that I’ve read in quite some time. I would wager that I could give anyone copies of the random one shot issues Hickman has turned out, and they will be satisfied with the experience. The man does good work – and here, he’s teamed with the guest art team of Mike Choi and Cris Peter, who do a fantastic job with everything they are given. Really, a great comic that you should buy, whether you’ve been purchasing the book regularly or not.

This episode is brought to you by Wizard’s Comics, home of the best deal on comics in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.  Check out their website for a list of the week’s new releases and information on upcoming Magic, The Gathering tournaments, and watch their Twitter account for news and announcements about the shop and its wares.

Episode 20 – Hillside Estates

This week, the boys start off by talking about their apartments – Brandon is moving out of his to live with his girlfriend and there was a fire in the building next to James’, which finally made him “remember” to get tenant’s insurance.  Next, they talk about their various sitcom and screenplay ideas, realize again that they can never run for office and finally, talk about some comics.  It’s not like that’s actually in the name of the podcast or anything.

Download the episode here or subscribe through iTunes.  If you want to subscribe the old-fashioned way, insert the following text into your audio program of choice (in iTunes, click “Advanced,” then click “Subscribe to Podcast”):

http://comicstheblog.libsyn.com/rss

You can also find all the episodes to date on Libsyn’s site here.

As always check us out on on Twitter at @blogaboutcomics, @leask & @soupytoasterson!  Remember to send in questions with the tag #UMACTUALLY for tomorrow’s letter column!

Episode 18: You Can’t Always Get What You Want

(But if you try sometimes, you might find you get more Community than you were ever owed, because you have unrealistic expectations, you dicks.)

Late last week, after numerous rumours broke about their intentions, NBC started the announcements for which of their television series would be returning in the fall season.  Earlier in the week, the word was that they would renew 30 Rock, Community and Parks and Recreation for truncated final seasons.  In the end, it shook out quite differently: 30 Rock will get a final 13-episode season, Community will have a thirteen-episode fourth season with no decided end date and Parks and Recreation, against the odds, has been given a full 22-episode fifth season.

Throughout the unveiling process, a variety of emotions were expressed by fans.  Anger!  Sadness!  Relief!  Concerned optimism!  Finally, anger again as the network announced that Community is being moved to a Friday timeslot following the also-renewed Whitney.  After all, Friday night is the death slot, right?

Actually, you might just be wrong about everything, and I’m here to tell you why.

First, let’s consider the “death slot.”  The shows I imagine a lot of people are thinking of with that name – and the changing of a series’ timeslot – are ones like Firefly and Wonderfalls, shows that Fox canceled all too soon.  Here’s the thing, though: NBC isn’t Fox.  Hell, Fox in 2012 isn’t that Fox anymore.  Under Kevin Reilly, Fox is the network that moved Fringe to Fridays (it was getting murdered by Seattle Grace Hospital on Thursdays), promoted the hell out of it (how many third season genre shows do you know that get widespread TV and billboard campaigns announcing a schedule change?) and gave it two more seasons after that.  And if Fox can change, we might have to consider that NBC can, too, no matter how recent the Conan/Leno debacle or the Community hiatus are in our memories.

Why?  One word: Grimm.  One of NBC’s two new dramas of 2011/12 that are sticking around, Grimm debuted on Friday.  It was the first NBC show to get renewed for 2012/13.  It is the NBC’s success, despite its most recent episodes getting numbers in the 18-49 demographic that can only be described as “slightly worse than Community.”  Putting Community as the lead-in to one of the network’s only successes isn’t an insult; it’s a vote of confidence, as NBC President Robert Greenblatt said:

“The show has its faithful audience and they will follow it to the ends of the Earth, and I really wanted to do something to invigorate Friday because we love Grimm. So I thought, let’s move a show where the audience will move with it. I actually look at the positive side of it.”

Then, he threw in an, “Although no good deed goes unpunished,” because hey, the upfront season is the perfect time to be a little passive aggressive.  Whatever.  If the price of one of my favourite shows coming back is that a network president kind of insults some people who are kind of being dicks anyway, I’m fine with that.  Because like it or not, Community has the audience it has.  The immediate return to its regular ratings after an initial rise once it returned from hiatus shows that it is, at least at 8pm (7 Central) on Thursday nights, a pretty reliable quantity.  A quantity that, if it sticks around on Fridays, will be an unqualified success.  Only viewers decide the rest.  Greenblatt is betting on this.

Next, the matter of the Whitney lead-in.  Despite the fact that it could be argued that getting the timeslot directly leading into Grimm could actually be seen as a compliment, the reality is that no matter what you think of Whitney creatively (I am firmly in the “it is pretty okay to me, whatever, watch something else if you don’t like it” camp, for the record), it pulls slightly better numbers than Community with an even tougher competitor (American Idol instead of The Big Bang Theory).  Just in case you think otherwise, let’s get something straight: TV is a numbers game and a business above all else, and whatever you might snarkily think of it, Whitney might just be better at 8pm than Community, which is pretty much going to have the numbers it’s going to have at this point, three years in.  It’s a known quantity and that’s a quantity that NBC says will stick around regardless of its lead-in and could help Grimm out.  Its job isn’t to try and be a big star in its fourth year; it’s a really good utility player.  Its job is to get on fucking base or at least bat in a run or two.  I’m okay with that, because it means the show, for however long it does, is sticking around, and that’s a good thing.

Actually, a correction.  It’s a fucking miracle.

Here’s the blunt truth: NBC is has been the last-placed major network for a few years now and all its attempts to be otherwise have been pretty disastrous.  Community, Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock especially have been disappointments.  They are pulling numbers that would get a show canceled on literally every other broadcast network; almost all the canceled comedies on ABC, CBS and Fox did better than the ones NBC has renewed.  Critical acclaim has helped them stick around too, at least for a while, but at some point none of that matters if a show isn’t doing well, and NBC is not doing well.  The only reason these shows have stuck around is because they had the good fortune to be on a network that didn’t have anything that could do better, but NBC would be wrong to just keep bringing them back, few or no questions asked.  They would be irresponsible and they would be stupid to do it, and I’m glad they’re not.

Believe it or not, even if every one of NBC’s existing comedies ends after next season – which isn’t a given – this actually presents the smartest decision they’ve made in years.  It’s definitely the gutsiest one that didn’t involve putting Jay Leno on at 10pm instead of developing new shows, and it’s infinitely smarter.  Don’t think NBC believes in its comedies?  It is bringing every single one of them back.  It has picked up seven new ones.  That is thirteen comedy shows in total, which is insane.  They’re expanding to four nights of comedies instead of two by adding Tuesday and Friday.  There are five hours of comedies on the network’s fall schedule.  The network believes in its comedies so much that it’s doing little else.  It’s making a change.

With its dismal numbers, a change was needed, too.  If NBC doesn’t want to stay fourth place forever, it needed to add new shows to the lineup, and what they appear to be doing – gradually winding down their older comedies, encouraging sophomores like Up All Night that still have the chance to grow  and introducing a wealth of new series – is the Hannah Montana [Ed. Note: Best of Both Worlds] of the network’s options.  They could have canceled Community easily, been completely justified and slept well at night afterward.  Instead, it gets to wind down with (at least) a fourth season, one that brings the cast to the logical end of their time at community college anyway.

Even more, instead of an abrupt change (like putting Jay Leno on at 10pm or rebooting almost its entire lineup), the network is going a gentler route, and what that looks like is the 2012/13 season: all the old comedies and a bunch of new ones.  What will 2013/14 look like?  Who knows; that depends on this upcoming year.  But at the end of the day, I can’t help but think this is the smartest thing NBC could have done.  Give existing fans what they want – if they can stop complaining to notice it – and keep them tuning in.  Try to bring in a bunch of new ones with shiny new shows without years of continuity or baggage to keep people from engaging.  Hope something sticks.  It’s certainly a far cry from a few years ago, when NBC under Jeff Zucker gambled on cheap instead of content development, and to me, it’s an encouraging change.  NBC is the network that changed the face of sitcoms in the last few decades with Seinfeld and Friends.  They’re obviously trying to be that network again, which is only a good thing.  They want to make Must See TV again, and whether or not that’s realistic given the expansion of original cable series, it’s something that would be flat-out impossible if they just kept going with what wasn’t working when it came down to numbers.

Speaking of numbers, by the end of next season, even if all NBC’s returning comedies end, 30 Rock will have had seven seasons.  Parks and Recreation will have had five.  Community will have had four, and if it does well, it could easily get more than its 13 Season Four episodes like Chuck did in an almost identical situation.  All of them could have ended much earlier and these aren’t insignificant numbers.  That’s a massive chunk of television – of art – for us to have received, and will have been lucky to get it, because we weren’t owed any of it.  Hell, we’re not even paying for it.  Not appreciating that because we only got 84 episodes and a syndication deal isn’t just kind of dumb, it’s incredibly petty and immature.

Honestly, and I genuinely mean it, this might be the best possible situation.  When I said this to someone when we were talking about the issue, they snapped back by saying that this doesn’t mean that they have to be happy about it.

“No,” I answered, “But it means you should be.”

Every week, Comics! The Blog goes through the list of new releases and we tell you which comics to plug into your mind hole. Your mileage may vary.

DANCER #1 (Image Comics)

Nathan Edmondson will soon be a name on everyone’s lips. He’s been at the edges of the industry for a few years, first gaining traction with his series Olympus from Image with current Infinite Vacation artist Christian Ward. From there, he’s been slowly (but surely) building his name and his brand, and will very soon be discovered as the next “overnight success” – the creator coming out of nowhere with a big book that everyone starts talking about – and that book could very well be this one.

Dancer is a story about a hitman and a professional ballet dancer. There’s intrigue. There’s love. And there’s a twist that you have to see to believe. Edmondson is a master at presenting the thriller genre with a bit of a twist, and this is definitely not an exception.

On this book, he’s joined by the phenominal Nic Klien, cover artist at Marvel and interior artist of the gorgeous oversized  Image series Viking - and the pages look amazing. Great pacing, great story… it would be a crime if you missed this book this week. Get in on the ground floor of something great.

DEADENDERS TP (Vertigo/DCDa Comics)

Would you read a series written by Ed Brubaker about mod culture mashed with a bit of Transmetropolitan?

I will admit, the idea seems a little hard to reconcile – although I’m not exactly sure why. I came to Brubaker by way of Sleeper and quickly begged my comic shop guy to sell me on something, anything else the guy was doing or had done. As I discovered, he was in the midst of a few superhero runs (at one point, he wrote for the Batman line, and turn Catwoman into a pop art superhero crim noir series) but both were far to gone to really jump into, what with DC’s seeming aversion to collecting a lot of their books at the time. And so my local comic shop guy started selling on the weirder things he had in stock. Things like The Fall and Detour and Lowlife and At the Seams. These were all mostly slice-of-life things, each with a slightly different flavour. Lowlife was Bru’s mostly real life account of his misspent youth. At the Seams was in a similar vein, but (I’m assuming) without as much autobio bent. The Fall was something that gave a preview of the crime fiction he would soon become known for. And then, there was Detour. Of a projected three, only one issue of this series was produced, and focused on a strange man in a world that looked similar to ours… only… things were… off. Both with the man, and the world.

It was the thing that intrigued me the most because it was just so odd. Sadly, nothing really came of that series as he started getting jobs at DC (and soon after, Marvel) and he sort of abandoned the black-and-white self-made indie scene.

But this… this looks to be a bit more of that strange Brubaker that seems to tell more straight laced stories nowadays. A bit younger, a bit wilder, with ideas quite possibly less refined than what we’re used to from the current Bru who has honed and tweaked until things just purr. A story about a guy caught in a world of crime, only it’s a little bit mod and a little bit futuristic, and a little bit… something else. I can’t wait to start plowing through this book and revisiting a flavour of Bru from times gone by. If you do too, you can pick up this handsome looking volume of 16 plus issues for a scant $29.99.

PRINCELESS VOL. 01 (Action Lab)

A princess who decides to stop being a damsel in distress, and start saving people herself. A simple concept, yet one so untouched by fairy tale fiction. You have your so-called “traditional” stories, where the prince rides in to save the lovely princess, and you have the so-called twists wherein the princess, still under the guise of damseldom, always retains the upper-hand on the hero, either with quick barbs or quicker punches. And yet there are very few that do away with the whole pretense of needing to be saved.

In Princeless, we meet a girl who is tired of the same old “locked-in-a-tower” paradigm, and sets off to save herself, and her sisters from a life of damseldom. The first four issues worth of story present the foundation of the tale, laying down the rules of the world and the villains that will need to be faced. Oh and also? It has a whole lot of fun poking fun at the whole “girl hero” thing, from the ridiculous “armor” female heroes are usually given, down to the role women play in these tales in general. A refreshing read for all ages. Anyone with a princess in their life could do well if they found a copy of this for them. (Or if the mood strikes: any princesses would do well to seek out a copy on their own.)

FANTASTIC FOUR #605.1 (Marvel Comics)

This week is pretty big for Jonathan Hickman - not only does his first script come in on the big Avengers vs. X-Men series, but there’s also an issue of Fantastic Four on the stands, and a new issue of The Manhattan Projects to devour (but we’ll get to that in a second).

This issue is another Marvel Point One issue – an initiative designed to give folks a solid jumping on point to any series, in the form of a single issue story. However this particular point one issue is quite a bit different from the norm. And by that, I mean the story opens on the origin of the Fantastic Four where the first spoken word of dialogue is “Hold steady, Mister Grimm. We are the sharp point– the very start — of the Führer’s One Thousand Year Plan.”

So yeah. That happens.

THE MANHATTAN PROJECTS #3 (Image Comics)

And somewhat finally (I say somewhat because there are tons of other great comics hitting the stands this week) we have The Manhattan Projects #3 - the continuing tale of the crazier shit that the Manhattan Project was just a cover for. If the cover and blurb are any indication, it looks like we’re going to get the pluralized Projects take on just what the crazy fuck happened when they dropped the bomb. Or tell the story about how they dropped the bomb. Or something.

What you need to know about this book is that its amazing. Each issue heaps crazy science into your mind hole while managing to function as single issue stories. Parts of a whole, if you will. Even if you haven’t read any of the other issues, I would say you can jump on with this one and be happy with what you get. Try it. Even if you don’t end up enjoying it, I can guarantee that you’ve made far worse decisions. (That’s a pull quote, right? “Not the worst decision you’ll make!” – Comics! The Blog)

These are five of the many great books being released this week! You can find the full list of comics being released here. If you have any other recommendations, let us know in the comments below.

There were comics!  We liked them!  A lot!  Whatever, I’m busy.

WHEREIN NO AVENGING OCCURS

Kittens: annoying.

Strong words for the internet, I know.  It could get me stabbed.  By some of my friends.  But hey, at least I’ll have She-Hulk on my side.

The best thing about Avenging Spider-Man #7, by Kathryn and Stuart Immonen, is that it’s not trying to create another world-threatening disaster for Spidey and his friends to stop.  This is, at its core, about a simple night at a museum fundraiser gone horribly wrong, because an Egyptian goddess and her embarrassment of kittens think an easily-annoyed, muscly, green lawyer is her servant, and only our titular hero can save the day by pretending to be someone even more important using a ridiculous costume just long enough for things to calm down.  Basically, it is an episode from a mid-to-late 90s TGIF sitcom except with superheroes cast in the roles.  Which is to say: it is amazing.

Therein lies the strength of Avenging Spider-Man.  A month after Spider-Man teaches Captain America the importance of being true to yourself using the superpower of schmaltz, and only a few after the mole people’s mole people threatened to destroy New York, two of the best creators in the game can tell a funny, silly story about an odd couple and the cats who love them.  Between Kathryn‘s skill for wordplay and Stuart‘s incredible talent for physical comedy, the result is one of the funniest comics of this or any year.  Needless to say, I couldn’t be happier to give Avenging Spider-Man #7 the Gilded Erik Von Detten in the field of Yuks. (J)

STRANGER DANGER

More than any other book on the shelves, the Courtney Crumrin series typifies how much the comic book industry has changed over the past decade.

When the character was first introduced, she hit the shelves in a series of black and white mini series, each spaced out to give creator Ted Naifeh the time to craft each new offering. Each of those volumes were subsequently collected into YA sized collections designed to fit on book shelves, giving the series quite a longer shelf life than it had in the single issue format.

After the third volume was published in 2004, both Ted and publisher Oni Press thought that the series would be best served through the release of larger offers equalling the size and shape of two single issue comics – the reason being you could give the longer books a spine and have them sell from the shelves like you would a graphic novel – and then at a later date, you could bind the parts into collections along the line of what they had been doing all along.

Then somewhere along the line, things shifted. It probably started when regular prose publishers really started to push into the graphic novel business, the primary example being what Scholastic accomplished by colouring the Bone series and sticking them on the shelves for a scant $9.99 a pop. (Note: the price of these collections have been slowly creeping up since then, but the point stands.) In addition to this, the industry started to become more and more resistant to black and white books – especially those that seemed to ship on a slapdash “it’s ready when it’s ready” schedule. Much of Oni’s line was plagued with lateness, books often getting solicited more than once before finally showing up… if they showed up at all. In response to all of these shifts, Oni really got their stuff together, became the kind of company that would thrive within the new paradigm. They started making sure books would hit the stands as solicited, on the dates they were promised. They began to run most of their single issue series in full colour, which was quite a rarity for the company up until the introduction of the full colour Resistance series and The Sixth Gun. And now, on the tenth year anniversary of the series’ debut, a new Courtney Crumrin series is seeing release on a regular basis, as promised, in the monthly full colour format.

What a difference a few years makes.

So. History lesson over. What of the contents of this book?

Simultaneously introducing new readers to the series and the characters and providing subtle winks and nods to those who have previously experienced the world, Naifeh has crafted what could be Oni’s next monster series. Yes, as stated before, the series has been around for 10 years, and has  gathered its own little following. However, it’s not a series that does Scott Pilgrim numbers… though it definitely has that potential. Crumrin follows the same patterns of, say, a Harry Potter, featuring a young girl learning the ropes of witchcraft while she deals with some extraordinary circumstances. Where it diverges from being a typical story of that ilk, is the tone. There’s a very dangerous sense to the series, even when the narrative sticks to an almost fairy tale type narrative, stating various horrors with a charming simplicity. The mix of the two feelings and tones works quite well – and that’s even before you approach the actual content of the story itself.

This second issue features nearly the same story as the first, told from the perspective of the new character within the series. Presented with the same series of events in just a slightly different way, you can see they way the rest of the world sees Courtney – and it is quite unlike the way she is generally presented in the series up until now. Old plots are revisited (with more than enough information to let new readers ride along unencumbered) and cast in a different light, and you can’t help but feel a little… scared? Which is incredible, considering how well you get to know Courtney herself over the course of all of her adventures. To be able to turn everything over in the course of an issue like that takes an incredible amount of talent – and makes for a stunning read. If you haven’t read any of Courtney’s adventures before, I highly recommend checking them out, either by grabbing the first couple issues of her new ongoing, or by grabbing the full colour re-issues of her earlier stories, which they are putting out in gorgeous looking hardcovers with built in ribbon book marks for about $20 a pop. A great deal.

As for the award we are bestowing onto this book this week… let’s go with the J.K. Rowling Ain’ Nothin’ To Fuck With Award - if only because we’re pretty big into the whole “self sabotage” scene, and not no one will send eyes towards this review of an all ages book because we cussed at the end.

Comics! The Blog: shooting ourselves in the foot since something something something something. (B)

In some ways, I feel like Morning Glories is a victim of its own buzz, its success and… itself.  That’s not to say that the book isn’t good, or that it doesn’t deserve every single accolade that’s been proffered.  Month to month, it is unquestionably one of the best books on the stands, and that is a real testament to the skill of Nick Spencer and Joe Eisma, who have succeeded in creating this ambitious, experimental, twisting world that keeps on building without ever getting too top-heavy.  The thing is, though, in a comic where there is a giant spinning machine, a ghost, time travel, long-lost identical twins and prophecy, all wrapped in some explosive high school melodrama, it can be easy to overlook that the reason all this matters is because Eisma and Spencer are so incredibly good at the little things.

Jun (Hisao) has always been the most enigmatic of the Glories.  He’s more reserved and withdrawn than the rest.  He’s there for his own reasons.  Before Issue #18, we’d seen a little bit of this, but in this issue, we got a good look at the kind of place Jun/Hisao found himself before heading to the Academy, a little bit about his mission, and a romantic encounter that both shifts the reader’s view of him considerable and yet fits exactly into what we know about him.  This is the kind of little thing that Spencer and Eisma do so well.  All the Big Stuff is important because of scenes like the ones with Jun and Guillaume, the stuff that doesn’t answer any of the big mysteries or introduce any new ones.  And yet, it matters most because it’s about the characters as people.  What Issue #18 did was give Jun reasons for what he does, and the reason give everything a sense of consequence.  If something goes wrong with the mission, something goes wrong for Jun and Guillaume.  After this issue, that matters.  Jun was the Glory that took the longest to get this kind of set-up, but after this long, it’s also maybe the most rewarding.

A giant part of this is due to the superhuman efforts of Eisma.  As good as his action scenes have been throughout the series and as well as he sells the mysteries and supernatural aspects, the big scene with Jun and Guillaume is probably his best in the series yet.  It’s emotional, it’s passionate, and it’s surprisingly tender, coming from someone as driven as Jun.  In a series that is so frequently brutal, this kind of shift means the world, and Eisma pulls it all off through a series of powerful images, culminating in two hands, intertwined.  It’s a respite from the horror and the fear, and that means something not just to Jun and Guillaume, but to the reader.  It means that there are stakes – real ones – to Jun’s story, more than we knew before.  It’s easily one of the series’ best issues, as it causes everything else to shift ever so slightly.  Well done. (J)

This is Comics! The Blog. We now commence our broadcast week.

A billion dollars.

At my current rate of financial success, I will see my bank account filled with a billion dollars in roughly the same amount of years. Part of this absolutely comes down to a lack of very specific drive. After all, I am chasing success, and I’m always attempting to get better at the things that I love to do. The comic shop is having its best year ever, the site is going over fairly well, and my personal life is coming together little by little. Which is great. But in the grand scheme of things, I’m driving towards things that make me happy - and those do not necessarily correlate with things that make money.

Coming back to the billion dollars thing – as many of you probably already know, over the course of this weekend, Marvel’s The Avengers hit the billion dollar mark, in terms of cash dollars made from ticket sales. In ways, this is not entirely surprising. Sequels tend to track higher than what a movie’s first offering will makes – and The Avengers has the force of three strong franchises and a momentum unlike anything else in the movie industry. That culmination of audiences, combined with the very deliberately placed cycle of movies that pushed forward, one after another for several years couldn’t help but build into something enormous. But then, there’s another side to the Avengers coin – the side from which the billion dollar idea sprung from fully formed.

According to best estimates, the comic book industry as a whole saw roughly $660-690 million worth of comic product sell in 2011. That includes comics sold from newsstands and collected editions and graphic novels sold in book stores. So that means, from the companies like Marvel and DC all the through their editorial staff, their marketing directors, their writers, their artists – all the way to the distributors and outwards to the comic book retailers and newsstands… the whole entire industry subsided off a number that pales in comparison to what one movie generated for revenue.

And yes, there are probably similar structures within Hollywood, and that the money for the movie probably gets divvied up between an equally stunning amount of people. But I can pretty much guarantee that the highest ranking member of the comic book community, whoever they might be, is not bringing in a fraction of the money the higher ranking folks in the movie industry are making. I would probably argue that average “dollars per person” ratio of Hollywood would be quite a sight higher than what those make in the comic book business. Regardless, there’s quite a disparity between these two mediums. The money flows quite differently in both. As an indirect result, I will probably never see a billion dollars. Hell, I probably won’t even manage to grab a cool million. I don’t have the proper drive or ambition to be the kind of person who goes out and does that either.

In terms of life, I am quite happy with what I do and where I do it. I am the manager of quite a successful comic store. In my spare time, I write about comics, which has afforded me the opportunity to come into contact with some of my favourite creators. Life seems to be treating me very well, and I am happy.

But the fact remains: I am the kind of person who is content with where I am and what I do. And I should be. In terms of what I’ve accomplished, I am quite reasonably compensated. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a very rich man, nor will I be in the near future. Right now, I am a comfortable man, who will get by well enough as life continues on. I am getting what I deserve. That said, there remains the question: what about the people who built the industry? What about the folks that made comic books what they are today? Considering my stance on life, matching a persons means to their bits of success and ambition, wouldn’t it stand to reason that the giants get what they are owed? And moreover, when their creations become fodder for an industry where the money is all the greater, shouldn’t they get to share in the fruits of their labours?

Me vs. The Angry Mob:

Comics and Morality

(or) A Complex Issue

Discussed Briefly,

Solving Nothing

The air in the comic book industry is thick with unspoken tension. Taking a quick look around the internet, and you probably wouldn’t think that to be true. In every corner, you’ll be able to find someone harping on and on about one kind of doom or another. Comics aren’t selling what they used to. The industry is in a weird mid-ground between physical and digital copies, and if the resolution doesn’t come at just the right time, the whole thing could be destroyed. And then there’s the accusations of moral and creative bankruptcy. But to hear many creators and members of the editorial staff talk, you might not know about any supposed lurking dangers. Justifiably so, I might add. On the one hand, the internet is completely unreliable when it comes to the truth of things. The simple fact that things like Community aren’t shattering ratings records will tell you that the internet, is at best a bit of a wish engine, one that churns on what you wish to be real, rather than what actually is. Which is not to say the industry doesn’t have problems. It does. There is a readership problem, and the digital growing pains are still far too painful (although the worst of it seems to be ebbing more and more as time passes). And yes, there are a few ethical and creative things that could still be addressed. But if you honestly expect anyone involved in such things to come right out and say the sky is falling, you are a special kind of delusional. Come what may, the people working for Marvel and DC will happily do so and smile until the time comes where they do not personally feel they can do so. For each person, this threshold is different. For instance, for years I worked for a chain of Canadian book stores – an ideal job for a person who loves books as much as I do. I worked their quite contently for a long, long time, even after I was getting full time at the comic book store, because… well, because it was fun. Again, it was never a job that was going to get me rich – I just liked the proximity to books, and the money made me comfortable.

But then there came the time when the dollar shifted quite violently. So suddenly, that the prices on the backs of all of our books looked ridiculous - especially when everyone knew the Canadian dollar was finally worth the roughly the same amount of an American one. This in and of itself wouldn’t have been so bad had the company decided to continue selling books at the Canadian cover price listed on the back of the books, instead of the American price. To make matters a little bit worse, this change happened around Christmas time, when every retail shop worth their salt gets crazy-balls busy. Having worked the Christmas season for years I was used to the volume - but this particular year, we were getting streams of complaints due to the pricing we set for our books. This was quite frustrating, of course, but I always managed to swallow the frustration, and produce the words that the company had told us to say in regards to everyone’s complaints.

“Unfortunately, book prices are set when the publisher buys the book from the author, months and months before publication – which means these books still cost us the same to bring in now as they did then. We’re sorry. Would you like an extra 10% off?”

This became my mantra for quite some time. We powered through the holiday season (which was, usurprisingly, not our best) and made it to the other side, when books that were purchased during the window where the Canadian dollar was great were supposed to come out. And they did. But in the meantime, the dollar had gone back down – and our company, in response to that, had started stickering the price of the books up, in direct contradiction to what was promised all through the holiday season. Needless to say, I was not pleased by this development. Whether it was greed back then or greed now, the company had pushed me to a point where I could no longer stand to work for them any longer. I was also in a position comfortable enough to make such a move. And so I did – and in doing so, I also stopped patronizing their stores as often as I did.

Now I definitely didn’t have the balls to go cold turkey completely. While the bulk of my book buying money started to go towards supporting independent book stores (that didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with the changing dollar as the larger corporation), I still went to the big company when I absolutely needed to. When they provided me with the outlet for things that I couldn’t quite get, for the prices that couldn’t quite be matched, by the smaller shops.

Lately, people have been having similar experiences, in terms of their dealings with Marvel and DC. From fans and commentators like David Brothers, to creators such as Chris Roberson and Roger Langridge, many have drawn their line in the sand, and have stated that they will no longer support, nor work for Marvel or DC, due to the way they have and continue to treat the creators who work for them. To them, I tip my cap. While I don’t quite have the gumption nor the desire to make such a solid stand myself, I see it as principled, and foresee them having no regrets in that regard. If I have a problem with the principled stand movement, it would be similar to one that I have in other corners of my life – the whole, “you either agree with me and take my exact stance, or you’re a terrible human being” thing. As was inevitable (because people are involved), the discussion about Marvel and DC’s treatment of creators has taken a really sharp, “you’re not buying Marvel and DC books, or you are defecating on past creators” turn – and I think that is bullshit.

For starters, I think we can all agree that Jack Kirby got a raw deal, as have countless others within the comic book industry. I don’t think that there’s a person in the industry that will tell you otherwise. They might choose not to comment on the matter for various personal and legal reasons, but I’m pretty sure you’d be hard pressed to find someone who didn’t think Jack Kirby got a raw deal. The closest you’ll probably find is Stan Lee, who often seems genuinely perplexed as to why Jack should get a credit. Occasionally, he’ll make a comment about how he’s not a guy that decides the whole “credit” thing in terms of other media, and to be fair to The Man, he’s not. But not only should people not be asking Lee why Kirby isn’t getting similar credit for things, they should also put less stock into the answers that Stan gives the press. Far too many people see Lee’s shrugging at Kirby’s lack of credit as a slight to his one-time partner, but it’s not. He’s just reacting to the facts as he knows them. There wasn’t a time in his life when Kirby could get himself a better deal – and again, that is not cool. But when The Man tells people that, and attempts to leave it at that, he’s not doing it because he doesn’t respect Kirby. He’s doing it because he’s an 89 year old man, and he doesn’t know any other way. It’s like when my grandparents say the words “you people” and get confused when I try to explain why that is still kinda’ racist. Stan understands the words that are coming at him, but his brain doesn’t quite grasp the modern context of it all. He’s stuck in a time where you were forced to sign cheques that terminated your rights to characters and situations you created. He’s your unintentionally racist grandparent and he doesn’t understand why saying “Jack Kirby didn’t have a good contract” is a thing that reflects poorly on him. And really, can you lighten up on the guy? He’s old as shit.

Anyway, no matter which way you slice it, no one is going to argue with the fact that Jack didn’t get a raw deal – and the same people who can’t or won’t comment on the matter? You can be sure that if you instead asked them about what they thought of Kirby’s various contributions to the medium, you would get a glowing response. After all, how can you work in this industry and not have a glowing love for Kirby and all that his mind has wrought? It’s impossible. His fingerprints are everywhere and his influence is undeniable, and he’s definitely one of the main reasons the industry has been financially viable for so long. He was a man with such big ideas, they call him King. Do you think guys like Tom Brevoort don’t know this? Guys like Matt Fraction? Like Jonathan Hickman? Like Axel Alonso, or anyone working at Marvel? They absolutely know about the debt they owe Kirby. They feel his influence every day. But can they really be expected to draw a line in the sand? Can they honestly be expected to leave Marvel because of the company’s treatment of Jack Kirby? I don’t think it would be a fair thing to ask of them.

There’s a very fine line between being principled and stupid. The difference between the two comes down to circumstance, and opportunity. You can be willing to die for a cause, but if you’re stupid about it and don’t wait for the right circumstances or opportunity, the only thing you’re going to accomplish is making your life a little shorter than it needed to be as you die unremembered. A bit of an extreme example, I’ll admit, but the idea is sound. For folks like Chris Roberson and David Brothers, the decision to be principled is sound. Roberson’s talent and work has allowed him to be self sustaining away from both Marvel and DC. And David Brothers? Well, he’s an internet commentator – one that admittedly wasn’t too big on the superhero books to begin with. His decision to cut ties with reading or writing books from Marvel and DC comes at a cheaper price than, say, someone like Fraction. And I don’t mean that in a back handed way – I’m just saying that Brothers and Roberson are on the right side of circumstance and opportunity. Many of us aren’t.

For instance, if I walked into work tomorrow, and decided to stop selling items from both Marvel and DC, I would probably be fired. More than that, I would be fired with a whimper, as a footnote. And who would I be helping then? Honestly, who would I be helping?

Let’s take this a little further. Let’s say the owner of the comic shop decided to stop selling Marvel and DC books. Let’s say that was his decision, and I wouldn’t get fired for tamping the flow of comics. I wouldn’t lose my job immediately, no. But I certainly would eventually when money at the store dried up. Again, out with a footnote.

For most of the industry, there is very little opportunity to make a statement, and the circumstances sure aren’t helping. Biting the hand that feeds you would at best get you fired and at worst, make it so you wouldn’t be able to work in the medium you loved ever again. But putting down your foot and thumbing your nose at the man isn’t the only way to try and make a change in this industry – and more and more you’re starting to see creators wise up to the ways of industry, and use the system to their benefit.

More than anything else, the people who are vehemently crying for Kirby’s cause are concerned about the rights of the creators – and the fact is, there will never be much in the way of creator’s rights at the big comic book publishers. While creation will always be king, the industry and the audience for it was built around a business – and so that king will always serve another monarch. To draw the crowds, you have to be willing to play the game – but once you’ve played, you can certainly change it.

You can look around the industry right now and see people doing just that. Folks like Mark Millar and Ed Brubaker and Jonathan Hickman and Grant Morrison and Brian K. Vaughan cashing in on the high profiles they got from working for the business and working for themselves, in a fashion. They’re all producing work that they own and in turn, they are changing their circumstance.

And this… this should be applauded, in equal measure to those who refuse to take a pay cheque. One can feed the other. The industry can use a person for their own gains, but the person can always in turn use the industry for theirs. But to do that, they have to be smart. They have to be in the right position, and make sure the move is right for them. It can be done – and thankfully (and unfortunately) its people like Kirby who have taught them this lesson.

Does it suck to be the guy that got screwed over? Does it hurt to be the cautionary tale? Shit yeah it does – and if Kirby were still alive today, you can bet your ass everyone would be working their ass off to make sure that guy would be getting all the credit he deserves. And no, the fact that he’s dead doesn’t mean we can all just shrug our shoulders and move along. But at this point in time, at this juncture, is it really helpful to dwell? Or is it better to show some respect for the man and learn. To be creative and be constructive. To make some fucking comics.

I absolutely believe that Kirby is revered - that Kirby is respected. I believe that people who refuse to buy books built upon his shoulders, and those that still do because of him are both in the right, and I believe that those who would try and push this industry to be better, and those that would use it to be better are equally valid. We can do this shit together, you guys, and nobody needs to starve. Just enjoy comics however you want and do whatever it is you do to make yourself feel good. If you can’t find a way to enjoy your comics, then you are definitely doing it wrong – after all, their might not be a whole lot of money in this industry… but there is a whole lot of love.

How was your week?  Oh… that bad?  Don’t do it, you have so much to live for!  Put down the gun!  Put down the gun!  Phew.  Thanks, let’s talk this out.

You’re welcome, internet.

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LEASK: How are you gonna spend your weekend, people?  Me, I’m feeling inspired to do some fucked up cooking.  Basically, I’ve been watching a lot of Chopped and Iron Chef America and I feel I need to up my plating game, so I’m gonna do a spin on pasta & zucchini ragout, where I switch the main ingredients.  Absorption pasta ragout.  Zucchini “spaghetti” dressed in something like a mignonette.  Maybe a couscous-stuffed tomato just because they’re fun.  Whatevs.  You’re not the boss of me, Internet!

Oh, and I’m gonna hit Brandon until a feature article comes out.  What about you, buddy?

SCHATZ: I’m gonna be hit until a feature article comes out. Because there’s no excuse really. You wanna be a writer? Rule one is “write”. It all depends on that. So that should happen.

In the meantime, its Mother’s Day weekend, and it’s going to feature the first meeting of my mom and my girlfriend’s mom since way back in the day. Apparently, they knew each other before we did, which is crazy and strange and awesome. Anyway, cutting this short to start working on SOMETHING for the site for Monday. Let’s DO THIS ISH.

Until next week…

You have been reading Comics! The Blog. This concludes our broadcast week.

Missives from and to the internet, delivered by a series of tubes.

Welcome, dear readers, to our Thursday feature – a letter column of horrors culled from our inboxes. There will be things that are real and decidedly unreal – but hopefully all content presented here will be entertaining.

That said, WE ARE LOOKING FOR LETTERS! We are hiding in your bushes, metaphorical or otherwise. We crave your sweet correspondence. Contact us by clicking on that handy contact button right above the site banner to save yourself from our sweet lips on your power bills.

Letters might be edited for space, but not for intent.

Thank you, internet.

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Jay (@jayrunham) asks: Remembering Movie Licensing agreements and crazy Comic Book logic, which Heroes do you think should be in Avengers 2?

James: Squirrel Girl.

No, I’m not joking.  Squirrel Girl is awesome.  Fine, either that or Iron Fist, because the Avengers don’t have enough Kung Fu billionaires.  Plus, as long as they resist the urge to slo-mo the fuck out of his scenes, a giant North American action movie that incorporates bits of Hong Kong martial arts movies that isn’t The Matrix could be pretty neat.

Brandon: I think some Power Man and Iron Fist would be cool. But also more than that, I would like to see that movie, done in a 70s Blacksploitation-meets-kung-fu style.

Otherwise, in terms of Avengers, I would probably go with Carol Danvers – but admittedly, that could come down to the fact that I’m super excited about the new series Kelly Sue DeConnick will be writing soon. So there’s that.

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Josh (@joshbazin) asks: If, under great torture, you had to replace Batman with another (non-Bat) comic, what would it be, and why?

James: Casanova.

Brandon: Casa-

Josh continues:  I should also note that Casanova is not an acceptable answer to my previous question.

James: That wasn’t part of the deal!  Fine… Spider-Man, the single best comic book character ever created.

Brandon: James does not lie. Plus, Amazing Spider-Man is featuring some of the best stories I’ve ever read in that book. Or any other Spider-Man book right now. 

Actually, I like that you asked this question, because now I have an excuse to expound upon how I purchase comics. Being a comic shop manager, I’m afforded with the luxury of having all the product at my fingertips. It also lets me be quite a bit more choosy with my purchases and support more creator owned books. After all, at the end of the day, there will always be enough people buying a Batman book. That’s a fact. But if I can read the book in the store, and wait for the trade (no matter how good the book), then I can do the industry a solid and spread my purchases to books that could use the dollars to continue. Which is to say if I was not in this position I would not be strong enough to wait on things like the current Batman run. Man, I love comics…

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Ryan (@rocketmunkey) asks: Have you seen Joey the Junior Reporter (for the Chicago Blackhawks)?

James: No. Is this… a football question?  I always get my vaguely racist team names mixed up.

Brandon: I think you’re thinking of Crowfootball. I can say that, right? Probably not.

Ryan continues: Would you consider something similar for C!TB?

James: Man, I don’t even know what it is.

Brandon: Apparently it’s this. And knowing us, we probably would consider something like that. I can’t really think of a reason why two grown ass adults that spend their free time reading and writing about comics can’t hang out with a five year old boy and make him dress up like people so that he can do things to amuse them oh no wait… we would have to feed it probably.

Nope. Not happening.

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Taylor (@iamtaylorsmith) asks: If you could chose one superpower for each other to have, what would it be?  GO!

James: I want Brandon to have gills so that he will die on land.  Wait, what was the question?

Brandon: I want James to have the power of twenty hoboes and become Supertramp.

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Cecilia (@sandozablue) asks: Who or what was the inspiration for Brandon’s beard?

James: Hitler.  Next question?

Brandon: I don’t know who or what Danica’s inspiration is.

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Scott (@scottowilliams) asks: If you could be the former star of one 90′s sitcom for a day, who would you be and why?

James: Finally, a real question!  Now, in terms of ongoing fame,  the answer would theoretically be Will Smith, because, as dramatized in Kevin Smith‘s opus Jersey Girl (I’m not joking), he successfully made the transition to movies.  You could similarly go for George Clooney, who is objectively wonderful.  We could also go with James Avery and Reginald VelJohnson, so that we could live out my forthcoming screenplay, AvJ: Detectives at Law.  However, the answer is as simple as it is sexy:

Erik von Detten, star of Brink!, Odd Man Out, Complete Savages and Celebrity Mole Hawaii, for some reason.

Think about it.  Youth.  Good looks.  A lot of money, apparently, because he apparently doesn’t need to keep busy in the industry.  Clearly, EvD has it all.

Brandon: If James and I are a tandem team, I would go with The Brothers Savage, Fred and Ben, so that we could similarly get my sitcom Savage Times approved, in which we, as The Brothers Savage, would play ourselves buying our old local newspaper, and hiring our old television friends to run it. Don’t even pretend like you wouldn’t watch that.

Otherwise, I go with Teen Angel. I’m pretty sure that was his legal name.

Scott continues: Why have other countries failed to capitalize on the Captain America craze? Which country should have a Captain?

James: Back in the day, there were Captains all over the place!  Canada, Great Britain, some other countries, I assume… but then the 90s ended and the world went to shit.  Now, Britain’s Captain (Jarvis Poker, the British Joker, I believe he was called) has made some occasional appearances and had the odd series here and then, but clearly, the answer to the second part of your question is CANADA AND GREAT BRITAIN!

For the glory of the Commonwealth?

Fuck it.  Let’s go with Mexico.

Brandon: UM ACTUALLY James, Britain and Canada have Captains. They’re called Captain Britain…

…and Captain Canuck. 

Scott goes on: Who is going to clean up all these dead squid?

James: I usually just make Brandon do it.  Seriously, I will throw something – squid, urine, Diet Dr. Pepper – on the floor and just scream at him until he cleans it up.  I’ll lend him to you.

Brandon: You say that, but who will you scream at then James. WHO THEN.

Scott asks another question: Why can’t I stop screaming at night?

James: It’s AIDS.  Full-blown AIDS.  And don’t think that you can Magic Johnson your way out of this one, it is gonna take you down.  This thing is gonna Eazy E the shit out of you.  Treatment will do nothing.  You’ll slowly waste away as your body puts on a feeble, ineffective defense, and you will die alone.  My recommendation: take a day off, go to Centre Island, enjoy the sun, then jump off the ferry on the way back to the mainland.

You’re welcome.

Brandon: Also keep your penis away from people’s ears or else they will get hearing AIDS.

Scott complains: Movie shows are too expensive nowadays.

James: That’s not a question, hippy.  Get a job.

Brandon: And stay away from message boards. Or at least the comments section. You will give people FIRST! AIDS.

Scott won’t shut up: Where are my fucking sunglasses??

James: Is this how Alzheimer’s starts?  I feel bad, that disease is just awful.  It’s seriously the worst.  But don’t worry, the full-blown AIDS you have will finish you off before this becomes an issue.

Brandon: And the fruit section of your local grocery. No sense in giving everyone the lemon AIDS.

Scott summons the physical strength, despite his terminal illness, to ask:  Vote Ron Paul?

James: There is literally nothing more pointless I can think of doing, and I run a website about comics on the internet.

Brandon: And no masturbation without condoms either. That gets you palmAID(S).

Scott gets threatening: Harry Knowles breaks into your room at night pantsless and brandishing a gun. What do you least want him to say?

James: “Here, try and find a post older than a few hours on Ain’t It Cool News.”

No, wait, I feel like I’m missing the point of your question.  Ah, okay, I’ve got it: “I’d like you to write for Ain’t It Cool News.”

Brandon: And it should go without saying, but no getting married and sexing your wife without the condoms. That’s the wrong kind of marital AIDS.

Scott succumbs to his illness at last: I do good?

James: That’ll do, pig… that’ll do.  Or, at least it will when you finally finish your series on Big Star albums over at your website, Sound of the Week, and then appear on Podcast! The Comics to talk about it.

I just really want someone to talk with about Big Star. I’m alone.

Brandon: Don’t worry. We’ll probably end up together in hell, so there’s that.

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That’s it for the seventh installment of Um, Actually!  Check in every Thursday for a new batch of questions.  If you have anything you’d like answered, hit up our Contact page!  If you submit anything via Twitter – to @blogaboutcomics, @leask or @soupytoasterson - remember to include the hashtag #UMACTUALLY so that we don’t lose it.  Remember: you can ask us anything.

]]> http://comicstheblog.com/2012/05/10/um-actually-may-10th-2012/feed/ 1 http://comicstheblog.com/2012/05/09/podcast-the-comics-episode-19-con-talk-with-riley-rossmo-kurtis-j-wiebe-dan-parent/ http://comicstheblog.com/2012/05/09/podcast-the-comics-episode-19-con-talk-with-riley-rossmo-kurtis-j-wiebe-dan-parent/#comments Wed, 09 May 2012 12:00:28 +0000 C!TB Staff http://comicstheblog.com/?p=5470

It’s Wednesday again, and we’ve prepared a pretty special episode of Podcast! The Comics for you.  Because it’s Wednesday.  And that’s what we do on Wednesdays.  Jesus, haven’t you been paying attention?

This episode is brought to you by Wizard’s Comics, home of the best deal on comics in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.  Check out their website for a list of the week’s new releases and information on upcoming Magic, The Gathering tournaments, and watch their Twitter account for news and announcements about the shop and its wares.

Episode 19 – Con Talk with Riley Rossmo, Kurtis J. Wiebe & Dan Parent

This week, the boys finish their coverage from the 2012 Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo with some on location interviews.  After a lengthy warm-up with a discussion of Free Comic Book Day, TV and some comics they enjoyed recently, the boys present interviews James did on the floor of the convention with Riley Rossmo (Green Wake, Rebel Blood and the upcoming Debris and Wild Children), Kurtis J. Wiebe (Green Wake, Peter Panzerfaust, The Intrepids and Debris) and Archie artist extraordinaire, Dan Parent.  Witness James geeking out as he meets one of the greatest Archie artists of all time!

Find Riley on the web or on Twitter at @rileyrossmo1;

Find Kurtis on the web or on Twitter at @kurtisjwiebe;

Find Dan on the web or on Twitter at @parentdaniel.

Download the episode here or subscribe through iTunes.  If you want to subscribe the old-fashioned way, insert the following text into your audio program of choice (in iTunes, click “Advanced,” then click “Subscribe to Podcast”):

http://comicstheblog.libsyn.com/rss

You can also find all the episodes to date on Libsyn’s site here.

As always check us out on on Twitter at @blogaboutcomics, @leask & @soupytoasterson!